Today is my blogs anniversary. I've been writing here for one year. So, it seems only fitting that I share with you what's been going on inside my head regarding it all.
The blog world is tricky, because when I started it, it was simply for me to create the habit of writing on a regular basis. I had no idea that people outside my circle would ever read it. But you came, and then you, and then you...and then I realized that there might be a few people actually getting something out of my thoughts. Suddenly, I became even more inspired and challenged. It drew me in to write more and more, to the point where if a day went without writing I didn't feel whole.
But at times over the last year, I've seen myself getting caught up in the 'blog world' of it all. What with all the self promotion, number of followers, contests, reviews and such. And while I don't think those things are wrong, it just started to make me feel a bit empty. As if I was missing the whole purpose of why I started my blog in the first place.
The blog can be so ego fulfilling and even at times, unfulfilling (such as when a follower leaves). It's never been my desire to use my writing to feed my ego, but in being human....and well let's be honest, in being me (the attention & spotlight seeker), I find that at times I struggle with it.
In the midst of all this inner turmoil, I found myself reading the following by Rebecca in Girls Gone Child:
'If we want to "write for ourselves" we should do that... in a diary. But as long as we're hitting the publish button we are writing for other people to read and even respond. We must remember that the blogosphere is not a collection of monologues but dialogues. That every time we go public with an idea or story we are inviting friends and also strangers to participate, respond, feel something.'
Reading this really struck something inside me. Because I knew it was completely and utterly true for me. This was exactly what I needed to read, because this was in essence, the reason I have the passion to write. And it's the reason I have always had the desire to publish my writing. For a week I kept going back to her blog, reading and re-reading that quote. I tossed it back and forth in the waves of my thoughts, I wrote it in my journal. And then it hit me. That responsibility doesn't begin when I have a published book, it happens when I hit publish. Right here, right now, on this very blog.
Writing is incredibly special. In fact, to me, it's sacred. It's my way of thinking, of feeling, of healing...of breathing. I always told Jimmy, I have never cared if I made a penny for my thoughts on paper. All I have ever wanted is to make a difference.
While contests, reviews, and followers are fun, (and will at times still be a part of this blog)...they pale in comparison to the reason I write.
I want to create smiles and laughter on a day you didn't think it was possible. When you're hurting, I want to create tears of healing, hope and assurance. I want to inspire...be it in life, in parenting, in marriage, in fashion (call me shallow)...
All these things I want to give, so as to prove we are not alone in this. To show that there is at least one person out there sharing a piece of your story. And that there is one person willing to be honest, willing to open up, and willing bare it all.
My writing is my heart and my soul.
I am My Writing.
Welcome to my blog.
Welcome to me.
© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"