feeling the pain

Recently, Jimmy and I were talking about how it is really uncomfortable to feel pain. (I know, you're thinking, um duh.) I think we are such a painless society. When we have a headache, we take medicine. When we feel bad, we look for a way to feel good. Pain sucks and we will do what we have to do to make it go away. I'm certainly no exception. Hellllo, I love love love epidurals.

We got to talking about God's timing, and how sometimes, he doesn't exactly move as quickly as we want him to. We pray, we medicate, we seek our own way, and yet the hurt is still there. We wonder, why isn't God taking the pain when he is plenty capable.

I've been in that place. Almost two years ago, what started as a panic attack (after spending a week watching and helping to care for my grandpa in his final days), slowly turned into month after painful month of intense anxiety. Every single moment was painful. I wanted to sleep, yet I couldn't. I wanted to eat, and I couldn't. I wanted to cry, but there were no tears. I was in this prison, praying out to God that he would just take it away. I didn't feel like myself. I felt trapped, and I wanted out.

When I realized the pain wasn't going anywhere my prayers went from, "Take this from me!" to, "Get me through this, help me to learn the lesson, help me just to make it through the next five minutes."

For me, there is no pain greater than emotional pain. And yet despite how incredibly awful I felt inside, I knew I had nothing that I was unhappy about. My grandpa was in heaven, finally released from his disease. I felt incredibly surrounded with love by my friends and family who knew what I was going through. And both Jimmy and Taylor were unbelievably sweet and gentle with me during that time. Everything was amazing. Besides the fact that I was in deep emotional pain.

In my pain, I learned to trust. I learned to live moment by moment. I learned humility. I learned the true meaning of joy. I learned to be content in even the worst of circumstances. I learned that what doesn't break me only serves to make me stronger.

I learned more than anything, that sometimes, it's just neccessary to feel the pain. It's important to trust in God's timing. Even when it doesn't seem like he's working, he is.

He always always is.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

another book giveaway

I have another set of books to giveaway. This one will be open until Thursday night (midnight east coast time). And then on Friday will be the last book giveaway which will go until Sunday. Got it?

Now both the books I'm giving away today, I have actually had the pleasure of reading and I loved them. They are both full of laughter and wisdom, and are really quick and easy reads. Ya know, perfect for us busy parents...

HOW TO MESS UP YOUR CHILD’S LIFE

By Olivia and Kurt Brenner

There are several people in life you don't want to hear say, "Oops!" Your barber, your mechanic, and your surgeon are three that come to mind. So do your parents and spouse. And yet, few of us put much thought into how we can create happier homes. Now, Christian parenting experts Kurt and Olivia Bruner have created a tongue-in-cheek but invaluable guide that helps parents move past "oops" to intentional, fun, and faith-filled parenting. In a way that keeps parents engaged amid the nonstop grind of jobs and household chores, the Bruners walk parents through the steps in creating a plan for infusing faith dynamics into the home.

MOMMY GRACE

By Shiela Schuller Coleman

Universally, mothers tend to feel they are not good enough at parenting and fear they are harming their children by not being perfect. In Mommy Grace: Erasing Mommy Guilt, Sheila Schuller Coleman offers overwhelmed moms short but emotive stories of authentic motherhood from her own and others' experiences-foibles and all-and offers comfort by showing how God makes up for human weakness with His own strength.

Because Sheila shares lessons learned the hard way by real moms rather than giving difficult instructions for better mothering, readers will leave the book feeling encouraged rather than lectured.

For every mom who feels she's not quite up to the colossal job of parenting, MOMMY GRACE is full of hope and compassion.

**I have several copies of each book to giveaway, so make sure to leave a comment. Enter as many times as you want for whichever (or for both) books.***

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

impending break up

I hate breaking up. Someone always gets hurt.

I thought when I got married, I would never have to feel the pain of being left again. (My husband is much too smart to ever leave me, you see.)

But, I was wrong.

My heart is about to break, because I'm getting ready to go through yet another break up. And. I. Just. Can't. Say. Goodbye.

When I said here, that my longest relationship to date is my marriage to Jimmy....I lied. But, it was an accidental lie. You see, I've been in denial. I. Just. Can't. Say. Goodbye.

It's time you knew. There is someone else.

Her name...

{yes, I said her.}

Her name is Aviva. And she is my hair therapist. And she is leaving me.

It was between me and love in San Fran....and apparently, love won out.

Aviva and I have been together for close to ten years. We been through boyfriends, job changes, career changes, marriages, babies, anxiety....you name it and we have been through it together.

We've also been through lots of hair changes. Red, black, red and blonde, black and red, blonde one shade, blonde another shade. Short hair, medium hair, layered hair, bangs, no bangs, long hair, pregnant hair, after pregnancy hair, and more recently....gray hair.

Wherever Aviva goes, there I have gone too. From this salon to that salon, I have followed. And when she was inbetween salons, my dear girl came to my house, put foil in my hair in the backyard and then stood barefoot in my tub to wash out the color.

She has been dedicated. She has put up with my demands. She knows me, my hair, my heart, my issues....woah, the issues, and yet she still let me come back every 6-8 weeks to sit in her chair.

And now she's leaving.

My hair is scared. Who will understand the way it likes the blonde to begin at the root? Who will know that striped highlights aren't it's thing? Who will know the difference between a bob and a short cut? Who will know the difference between being blonde and the other kind of being blonde?

More importantly, who will listen to my stuff and get it? Who will be right there with me when I need to laugh, or cry, or go deep. Who will talk endlessly about writing, books and anxiety, and just....get it and all the while they are making me beautiful at the same time? Who has that talent other than Aviva?

So, you see why I've been hesitant to talk about this. About her. But, with it being only 6-8 weeks away, I think it's time to pay her the tribute she deserves.

Thanks Aviva. For getting me through Beauty School Apprenticing, for taking me from blonde to black to blonde again, for helping me overcome wedding day jitters, for rushing me in so I could have cute hair for the birth of my babies...for helping me breathe through an almost panic attack in your chair, for getting deep and personal about God and Jesus, for laughing with me...for encouraging me...

You are so much more than my hair therapist, you're a special friend and I and my hair will miss you. {And should I get rich, I will so be flying you in every 6-8 weeks! So, be ready.}

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

you came to the right place....

If you're new, welcome. And because I think you need to get to know me, let me for a moment, boss you around.

First, go to the top of my blog and click on "About Moi."

Now for some links to my personal favorite posts...this is a toughie. I love them all. I do, I'm just that humble.

But, here are some to get you started.

Speaking of being humble...I am Humbled

A bit of my deep side: Never Say Never and The Power of Forgiveness

But wait, I can be funny too: You Tube, the Le Musings Way and Can I Use That?

If you're a mom, you'll appreciate these: Mommy Dearest and The Look.

If you're married, here's some: 10 Ways to Make it to 5 years of Marriage and The First Time I....

And if you're into fashion or home decorating, these are for you: Fashion Friday and Etsy.

Okay then....that's just the beginning of me. You have a lot to catch up on before tomorrow. Get busy.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

book giveaway

Mothers Day is around the corner and so I have some great books to giveaway, just for you moms.

Today I have two.

"Chicken Soup for the Soul: Like Mother, Like Daughter"

From borrowed outfits to goofy mannerisms, there is a time when most women must sheepishly admit, "I'm turning into my mother." But while our uncanny connections can draw us closer, sometimes these similarities can drive us up the wall. To help your readers navigate to complexities of their mother-daughter relationships, "Chicken Soup for the Soul: Like Mother, Like Daughter," (Chicken Soup for the Soul, September 30, 2008, 978-1935096-07-8, $14.95) provides a collection of stories written by moms and daughters on maternal wisdom, raising teenage girls, becoming friends with Mom, grandmothers, granddaughters, and more.

"Chicken Soup for the Soul: Moms & Sons"

As numerous mothers know, raising boys can be an adventure. From baby blue blankets to first wedding dances, sons provide their mothers immeasurable amounts of joy - not to mention bruised knees to clean, rambunctious friends, and good-natured teasing. Written for mothers and "mama's boys" everywhere, "Chicken Soup for the Soul: Moms and Sons" (Chicken Soup for the Soul Publishing, LLC., 978-1-935096-16-0, September 2008, $14.95) offer glimpses into the touching - and often funny - interactions between mothers and their boys, as grateful sons, single moms, and loving grandmothers all chime in to add their voices to this new collection.

Now I have two copies of each to giveaway.

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment on which book you want to win. Easy, right?

I'll pick a winner and announce it Wednesday with the next book giveaway!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

some changes

I am a very busy girl as you probably all already suspected. I mean, what with showering, 2 kids, writing daily, and the occasional social outing, sometimes I wonder how I am even able to schedule in time to breathe!

Due to this fast paced life I live, I am making some changes because, you know, I find breathing to be an important part of life.

So, for the month of April I'm trying something new. Blogversations will be only happen two times. April 11 and April 25.

April 11 Topic: Reading Rainbow. Remember that show? There was this part where kids would show their favorite book and then tell about it, and it was my favorite part because being the nerd I was, I was always excited to find new books. Ya, so whatever...not much has changed. And I want to know about your favorite book. And don't hate me, but I'm banning talk on Twilight. ;-) I know you all love it, but let's just go crazy and I challenge you to talk about a different one!

April 25th Topic: Free Week. Post whatever you want. Show off, be cute, and have fun.

Okay then. Whew. Already I'm breathing a little better.

Now, don't forget, tomorrow starts the week of book giveaways. I was going to do a book a day, but I think I will instead do a different book Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

See, I make one change and now I want to change everything. In fact, looking around my house, I am feeling another email to Thom from Dress My Nest coming on.

I better get working on that.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

it's blogversation time!

Okay, so I didn't have much to give you guys this week. With all my social events this week, I'm just fresh out of witty and pretty.

So, today I give you Taylor and his best friend, Izabel:

Okay then, so now, enough about that.  Now it's your turn.  Show me what ya got Mr. Linky style!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

fashion friday

It's rare I get to go places where mascara is noticed and heels are necessary. So, when it happens, I get all excited and start thinking ahead as to what I'm going to wear. For example, I'm going on my annual girls Vegas trip in three weeks and already I'm starting to plan out what I'll be packing. (Oh dear God, please bring me a life. Amen.)

Anyway, since it does happen at least once a week for HurryDate, I've decided to document it. This way I can prove to my kids (and all of you) that, yes, Mommy does get out of her drawstring pants and white wife beaters once in awhile.

So last week, I didn't brave the pink tights after all. I felt poochy in my tummy with the black dress and that doesn't do much for a girls confidence. So, I went for this instead:

I went for comfort. Lace tunic, black leggings, boots, and my vintage leather jacket. 

Then this week, I had TWO HurryDates!

My first group of HurryDaters had the pleasure of seeing me in this:

Okay, so this skirt is like 4 sizes too big. I bought it when I was pregnant. But, it's this cute little bubble skirt at just the right length, so I had to bring it back. Luckily my shirt has this elastic bottom so it helped to keep it up all night. I'm thinking a cute belt will work in the future as well. And then the last picture is of my old boots, which are really new boots. Only I just went shopping and found a pair I adored even more. So, now I have two pairs, but my "old" ones probably won't see much of me anymore. Sad. 

My next event though, I was feeling super tired and lazy, so this was the best I could muster up:

Just a button up tunic, white tank top, leggings and my most amazing lovely motorcycle boots. Did I mention how I love them?  I'll try to get a better picture of them for next week.  

Anyway, that's about it.  I did have a major shopping spree the other night and got some color!  My wardrobe was really needing it, so now I almost feel ready for spring.  Maybe I'll try them on and show ya next week.  

Okay then, see ya tomorrow for Blogversations!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

anxiety epidemic

Seriously...I really do feel like there is one.

Even though, I never lived it, I miss the Good Ol' Days.

I feel like we are so overworked. So overstimulated.

We have so much access to information that we get overwhelmed.

We are required by others, but most often by ourselves, to wear as many hats as we can. To be all things to all people.  

The pressure we feel, the celebrities we're up against, the impossible state of "perfection" most are striving to achieve.  

We don't really know how to relax. How to unwind. How to connect.

Don't get me wrong, I love technology. I adore my Mac. But, there are days I wish I could go back to the time of Little House on the Prairie.

Did they even have anxiety back then?  

The thing is, I don't want to give up my Mac. Or my Blog. Or my access to information on the web.

So, how do we stop this Anxiety Epidemic? How do we keep things simple like the Good Ol' Days, but still keep to the ways of Today?

I get caught up in thinking.  Too much thinking.  And instead I need to stop and pray.

My prayer, every day, is for all of us who struggle with this, that we will never see the ugly face of anxiety again.  That we can all find a way to take a deep breath.  Slow down.  Relax.  And somehow find a way to escape this awful epidemic.  

Thinking is good, but the first step should always be prayer.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

blogversations topic & other random thoughts

Blogversations...

So, given that this is the last weekend of the month, Blogversations is a freebie. You get to choose what to "vlog" about. Be creative, be cute, have fun. 

Also, from now on, I'm going to be giving the topic for Blogversations for the next week on Saturdays, instead of Wednesdays. Hope that's cool.

Now, onto other stuff.

Books...

I have some books to read. I am just finishing one that is really making me thing about things. It's good though, and I'm feeling challenged to say the least. But more about that later...I'm working on a post to explain just how much I ADORE this book.

Along with finishing that one, I also have a pile. A serious pile calling my name.

So, I am going to try to stay focused. I'm going to follow Super Nanny by creating a schedule for my days so that I can stay focused and get some important things done. Like Reading. Ha. Did you think I was going to say taking care of the kids? 

The no cooking thing...

Also, week 1 is down and I have to report, Chores and Responsibilities went extremely well between the man and I. There was no nagging. Our house looks clean and picked up, and we are happy happy happy.  And when I say we, I really mean me.  And when I say happy, I mean I'm still not having to cook.  Yes, all is right with the world.  Ahhhh.....

Show & Tell update...

I have something else many of you need to know. A couple weeks ago during the Show & Tell Blogversations, I shared how to make a Swank Holder. What I failed to mention was that you need to buy tulle like fabric. It's the fabric with the tiny little holes. Not tulle exactly, but similar. That way, the earrings can poke through.

Saving your kids from therapy...

Click on the fishies above or here if you guys want to save your kids from needing therapy later in their life.  Being a mom is one of the most important, if not the most important thing we will ever do.  Fishful thinking is a way to help us discover tips that will allow us to build more positive and optimistic little people to send out into the world.  The website has all kinds of articles, quizzes, and other tips that will rock your world.  

I can't afford therapy for two kids, and this is free, so I'm all about it.

Okay, now I think that about covers it.

So excuse me, I have some deep thinking and reading to get to.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

why mirrors are necessary

Dear Parents & Staff of P. Christian Preschool:

Just to be clear, I am not trying to channel Holly Madison in any way, shape or form. In fact, I don't even know who Holly Madison is. As we would never allow such shows to grace our television screen. That is, if this Holly Madison person was to have a show. If she does, or doesn't, I wouldn't know.

Anyway, please read this blog, and know that from now on I will always check the mirror when leaving my house.

Please still allow Taylor to attend, and try not to judge him based on what you witnessed today. And, then, if you wouldn't mind, let's just never mention this again. Thanks.

So, here's what went down...while Taylor was at preschool and Chloe was napping, I decided it was a good time to do my P90X workout. As I was getting ready I realized that I had run out of gym socks, so I grabbed another pair and got to work. Once I finished, Chloe was awake and I had to rush to feed her then run out the door to be on time.

When I got to the school, it seemed people were extra smiley with me, and I thought, "How nice!" So, I proceeded to take the time to socialize since I was feeling so loved.

Then I got back in my car, and looked down.

This is what I saw:

Lovely, quite lovely.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

sum mo of my peeps, yo

So, I think it's high time to tribute a few more of my favorite blogs and bloggers! (Of course I have more...so hang tight, eventually I will feature them all!)

On the Trail of Plastic Snappy Things: I love when a blog is not only funny and so totally real, but it's also well written. This blog has it all!

Diane's Added Ramblings: Again with the funny, true and well written. In fact, she's so wise that often times we blog about the same things! It may be hard to believe that there's someone else out there with not only my wit but my wisdom as well...but I think Diane may come close.

Sassy Secrets of a True Blue Housewife: This Mama is sassy and I love it. I like a chick who's not afraid to call it what it is. But somehow she can make you laugh at the same time. She's crafty too...for those of you who like that sort of thing. Me? I'll just pay her to do it.

Lacey in Love: Fashionable, sweet, talented & crafty, this girl is one of my faves. She inspires me, makes me laugh, and makes me miss the days before kids.

flibbertigibbet: Two Words. Hi Larious.

Falling out of the Wardrobe: This very well could be my son's future mother in law. Her daughter Lucy and Taylor have a on and off love affair at preschool. And I'm totally okay with that arranged marriage because Lucy's mom, Bethany, cooks and bakes. And she promised she would do all the family holiday meal stuff. Now, that's my kind of arrangement. Anyway, her blog is funny and her photography is amazing.

Le Musings of Moi....oh wait, that's mine. But, I do love it. What can I say?

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

you have how many?!?

"When are you going to have another one?"

"You don't want kids?"

"You mean, you only want one?"

"Wait a minute, how can you know you're done? You ONLY have two!"

"That is just so sad that you're stopping here. So sad."

Seriously? What is up with this whole having an opinion on if and how many kids people are having these days? It's just something I will never understand, being that I really could care less about the number of children born to any person. Unless of course, it's the Octamom. In that case, I do have an opinion. A strong opinion. Especially because my tax dollars are paying for her decision.

Anyway, back to me.

After I had Taylor, I wasn't sure if I wanted to have more kids. Pregnancy was so hard what with being sick to my stomach the first half, and gestational diabetes the last. Then newborn life, oh don't get me started. The hours of inconsolable crying (mine and his), the breastfeeding, the mastitis, the sleep deprivation...on and on and on.

Then came the toddler years, and all the fun anxiety that came with it....

You can see why I thought one was enough.

And yet, I still found myself being asked at least once a week when we were going to have another one. The ugly contorted looks I got when they heard that Taylor may be the only one. There were a few in fact that I thought might start crying.

But as time went on it eventually wore me down, and I decided to give pregnancy another shot.

Jimmy and I from day one always agreed that we only wanted 2 kids at the most, so we knew that this pregnancy would definitely be the last.

And now, with Chloe being 4 months, the questions are a-coming again.

"When are you going to have another?"

"Are you sure you ONLY want two?"

"Oh, but three is such a good number."

"How can you even know right now that you're done? You only have 2!"

And on and on.

But, I am starting to learn that all I need to do is whip out that look that Jimmy had the privilege of seeing here...

Enough said I think.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

blogversations: talent show

Okay, so let me just say...

We are family of many talents.

I can burp like none other. Jimmy plays the guitar and the bass. Taylor throws a mean temper tantrum. And we can all act. I mean, like really act. Like any day now an agent is going to be offering us big money to represent us. I have the phone right by my side, in case you're that agent trying to call right now.

So, you can see, it was really hard for us to narrow it down to just one.

I really hope we chose the right one. What do you think?

And what's really going to shock you, wait for it...

Wait...

It's that we did that on our first take. We are just that good. We didn't even practice first. Um....ya. I know. You're jealous. So, is everybody else. We're used to it. It's the thorn in our side.

And if you really want more of our talent....click here. You won't be sorry.

Okay enough about me and my stuff, show me what you got.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

summer soles

Spring is here.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the flowers are blooming. There is no better time to kick off your sandals, dance with the lilies, then go running through the fields into the sunset.

It all sounds beautiful doesn't it?

But, what if you've been sweating in your sandals and as you kick them off, an intense aroma of stinky feet follows you into the sunset. Not so lovely anymore, is it?

Spring is about being fresh. And that includes your feet.

That's why I highly recommend you try Summer Soles. They're trendy, fashion forward sandal and flip flop insoles. Not only are they odor and moisture absorbing, but they're cute! And that is something much needed when you're wearing them where they can be seen. Just how cute can insoles be, you ask? Well, lets just say you can choose from a range of colors from white or black to zebra or leopard print, and then everything inbetween.

More good news.

Summer Soles is offering a pair to give to one of my followers! Are you a follower? If so, go check out their website, pick which one you like the best. Come to my comments and tell me. {Remember, you MUST be a follower. If I draw your name, and you're not, I will pick someone else.}

{Extra entry for blogging about it.}

Contest ends at midnight East Coast time on Friday, the 27th. Winner will be announced during Saturday's Blogversations on the 28th!

Keep in step with spring, and let's keep the funk in your dance moves and not in your feet.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

an optimistic look

So, this is an excerpt from an old post, but I truly feel like it gives a way to look at things that may be hard in a better light.

I wanted to share this dream that my friend Bethany had a couple of years ago. It seems like a lot of people I know and love are going through some really hard times right now. And this story keeps coming to mind. It has meant so much to me time and time again, and I hold on to the image every time life gets hard.

Imagine that God has you in the palm of his hands. You are just the size of an infant compared to the capable hands that are holding you. And as you lay in his hands, you're curled up trying to protect yourself from the rain that is beating down on you. It's cold, dreary, and intense. It almost feels like it's more than you can bear. But, as you glance beneath the hands that are holding you, you see rapid waters and scorching fire. If for a moment, God was to let you go, you would surely die. Suddenly, the rain doesn't seem so bad. And so you snuggle into the safety of Gods hands knowing that what you're going through is manageable because you are safe with Him. And knowing that He is keeping you from things far worse allows your hope and faith to grow.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

i drool...i die

I have a drooling problem.  And I blame Etsy.

Seriously, I have such a love/hate relationship with Etsy. I love that it brings handmade and unique things into my life, but I hate that my spending money dwindles so quickly with each shop I visit.

Right now, you must see all the things I am drooling over. They really are ah-mazing. I die. I really do die. (Thanks Rachel Zoe, for such a cute thing to say!)

Made By Girl Adorable Cards

Urban Harmonies

BitOWhimsy

Wing Wendy

Pretty Raccoon Clothing

Poor Pitiful Pearl

Idea2Lifestyle

Ouma Clothing

Graphics By Leslie

Okay then, thats enough for one post...

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

and then what did you think?

Taylor's favorite phrase to say to me, is: "And then what did you think?" Well that, and the phrase: "No Mom, I don't want to do that right now. Here's the plan, I'll do what I want to do first and then I'll do what you want me to do. Okay Mom?"

Which brings me to my first point.

I used to think I was patient until I had kids. But now...

Well, I find it's my struggle every single day. I have to BREATHE. Sometimes very deeply. Well, not sometimes....often.

I don't know what it is about kids that makes it so hard to be patient. I mean, I've had boyfriends who required more patience than my own kids do. And yet,

Daily, Hourly...Minute by Minute, I have to breathe.

I used to think I would never make the same mistakes that my parents made. And yet, as I grow up, I realize I'm just as human as they are. And mistakes have and have yet to be made.

I used to think that I understood God. But, with seeing life happen all around me, I realize I don't understand His ways at all. I will never understand Him. But, I understand my own ways even less, and I actually am me. (Woah, that's deep.) So, rather than try to figure it all out, I will simply trust Him instead.

I used to think I wasn't worthy of being forgiven. Too many times mistakes were held over my head by others, but most often by myself. Now, in learning to forgive the people I love and seeing forgiveness being given to others, I realize that I am just as worthy as they are.

I used to think I didn't want a boy, until I had Taylor. And then even though he has kept me humble, I started to think I only wanted boys and quickly decided I didn't want a girl. But, then I had Chloe, and now I'm happy I have one of each.

I used to think I would never be close with my sisters. But now, they are some of my closest friends, and I depend on their love and friendship more than anything.

I used to think I liked jeans, but now I adore elastic.

I used to have time to think...oh those were the days.

I used to think, but all this goes to show that I really don't know much even after all that thinking.

Hmm, there is surely a lesson to be learned here, but I don't want to think anymore.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

blogversation topic & Q&A about the chores

Long enough title?

Anyway, first things first.  Blogversations this week is a Talent Show.  It can be yours, your spouse's, your kid's, your animals....whatever.  Just show off some talent.  Make it good.

Okay, now onto more pressing matters.  It seems my post on Monday struck a chord with a lot of you, and I got a ton of emails asking for more details.  So, I just decided I'd take those questions and answer them here, because I'm too lazy to answer the same question a bunch of times.  =)  You appreciate the honesty, right?

1.  How detailed did we get in listing out the chores?  I would say quite detailed.  Our list covered dishes, cleaning the kitchen, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, cooking, paying the bills, toilets, trash, bathrooms (meaning counters and shower)...etc.  Basically everything besides caring for the kids.  We even added in each persons laundry individually, garage & backyard cleaning (kicking out the spiders and webs kind of stuff.)  I would think you should be as detailed as possible so that there isn't anything left unassigned, so that way, nothing can be argued over later.

2.  How do you deal if he doesn't do it the way you want it done or in the time that you want it done?  How did you decide what got 4 stars and what got 1?:  Okay, so these questions go together because of how we developed our own personal rating system.  After we wrote out all the chores and responsibilites, we then went through each one and decided how often each one needed to be done.  And for some, we even designated certain days they had to be done.  Like trash, he picked Tuesday and Friday's to take it out.  Once we had each job assigned to how often and when, we then took that into consideration when doing the rating.  A job like dishes which has to be done daily and is a bit time consuming, got more stars.  Soooo.....all that to say, when we chose our chores we were accepting the responsibilities of getting them done within the time frame we agreed on. 

Make sense?

Really, I highly recommend Shelby's e-book.  She lays it out so well, from how to go about the meetings to what specifically you should be talking about.

And so, that about covers it, I think.  Now, let's all go and be divided!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

clean in style

We have a lot to do these days.

Showering, eating, breathing...blogging, and as always, the dreaded task of cleaning. I mean, the cleaning alone can take half the day what with the extra steps of remembering where you have hidden the supplies, going to get them, actually doing the cleaning, and then woah of all woahs, having to go and put it away when you're done.

I'm tired just thinking about it all actually.

But, not to worry. Clorox has come up with a way to solve this issue, and I'm lucky enough to bring such good news to you.

It's called Redesign Clean. And what is so revolutionary about these new canisters of cleanliness, is that it takes out the step of getting out and putting away. Because, like a cute box of tissue, this can also stay on the counter, desk, or more realistically...the living room floor, all the while adding in a dash of design and style.

We can all still be clean, but now have the time to possibly do the little things we could never squeeze in before. Like eating a doughnut.

I think everyone deserves a moment for a doughnut, so to the first 4 commenters to tell me how much they adore me, oh, I mean the new redesigned Clorox wipes, I will send you a coupon to try it FOR FREE!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

we are more

Do you ever feel that you've lost yourself? You've lost the person that you were before you had kids? That those dreams and hopes and hobbies are kind of pushed to the side. Or to the back, or that they've disappeared?

Why does that happen?

It's not good. Not good at all.

I believe our children need to see that we are people too. They need to see that we have dreams, and they especially need to see that we are taking steps to make those dreams come true.

If we can do and be that in front of our kids, then I believe it teaches them to do the same in their own lives.

We can only be martyrs for an hour a day (I mean, let's be realistic here), but then we have to get off our butts and be who we were created to be. And we need to do so without GUILT.

It's good for us, for our hearts, minds and souls. And it will only serve to better our friendships, our marriage, our children and our self esteem.

Yes, I'm a mom, but I am so much more.

And so are you.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

a divided home is a happy home

It's true, and I'll say it again, A Divided Home is a Happy Home.

Remember awhile back when I talked about cheap therapy, and then I ranted and raved about marriage and family therapist, Shelby Riley? (If you're new, you can read it here) Well, I decided to put into practice one of her e-books, 10 Weeks to Increased Intimacy and Connection.

It was time, given all this "embrace your role" crap that's been going around.

We finally scheduled a meeting for this weekend, and hashed out assignment one. Chores & Responsibilities.

And whew, can I just say, I am now a happy woman?

The big thing that we came to agreement on before anything was that simply caring for the kids is a full time job. That alone is equivalent to the 40 hours at his job. So, in both knowing that, it was decided that all the chores and responsibilities are extra, and NOT included in our "jobs." (read: MY job.) So, um, ya...really glad we got clear on that.

After that was written in stone and tattooed on his forehead, we sat down and collectively wrote out all the chores and responsibilities of the home, from cooking to trash to paying the bills. Then, per Shelby's suggestion, we rated each chore based on how much time or how hard it was. Such as, trash got one star for being easy, vacuuming got four.

Are you getting the picture here?

Once everything was listed and rated, we then went through and picked the things we didn't mind doing. After that, we divided up the rest based on points and did our best to make our list (according to point value) even. In the end, he had 15 points worth of chores and I had 17. (I'm going to resist being a martyr here.)

Also, let the record show that he chose cooking from the list. HE CHOSE IT. Willingly and on his own. In fact, let the record show once more, I even offered to take 2 nights a week.

You see, I am beginning to grasp this whole...wait what was that word again? Starts with a "c?" Hmm, oh well, it's lost on me at the moment.  Ooooh, compromise...that's right.

But then he asked what I was planning on cooking those nights, and when I responded spaghetti or tuna melts, he decided it was a chore he was willing to accept responsibility for.

So, there you go. We divided up our list, we printed it out and put it on the refrigerator, and now we have a happy home. We parted ways agreeing on meeting again about this in two months to see how our loads are, and to see if there needs to be any changes.

Like I said, A Divided Home is a Happy Home. You should try it.

Life is good, I'm not cooking, and that's that.

Next week is Assignment Two: Prioritize Your Values and Live Intentionally. (Like, I value not having to cook?)

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

blogversations: show and tell

There may be a few new people, so I want to explain Blogversations just in case.

You see, I have a dream.  A dream to be a part of the Momversation Panel.  And since they have yet to realize how much they need me...I decided (with some pushing from Mama Kat) to create Blogversations.  

Each week I share what the topic will be and then Saturday, like 5 of us post our videos discussing and sharing on that topic.  It's quite entertaining.  Extremely Deep.  Very Intense.  The talk of the internet world, really.  

And while I love the 5 of us loyal participators, I would have to say, it would be super cool if other people wanted to join in.  We're an open club you know.  And if you want to be known around these parts then, well, you know....this is where you need to be.

And the winner is:

Okay then...now it's your turn!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

giveaway - get hip to being green

You want to be hip.

You want to be green.

Now you can be hip while going green, all at the same time.

It's called Green World Bags.com. A few months ago, I discovered the absolute cutest bags ever and ordered myself a set online. Once I got them, I loved them so much that I emailed the company telling them so...and then they so generously offered a set of their hip bags to GIVEAWAY on my blog!

You are some lucky people, my dear people. Because maybe up until now you thought your life was complete, but now that you know about these bags and you know you don't have them, you realize how incomplete your life really is.

With this giveaway, you are one step closer to a happier more fulfilled life. Because finally you can help the earth in style. How many people can really say that? Plus, not only do these bags have the coolest designs but they are sturdy and durable!

I'm telling you I love them. I have one set, and I'm itching for the other. (hint hint Green World Bags People!) ;-)

I love being hip, I love being green, and I love Green World Bags.

Okay, so now you know the drill. Make sure you're a follower then go check out Green World Bags. Come back and tell me in the comments which bag you liked the best. Contest ends on 3/20, and I'll announce a winner on next Saturday's Blogversations.

And of course the usual extra entries:

• Blog about it
  
• Posting my button on your blog.
  
• Favorite me on Technorati.  (the green button on the right hand side.)
  

Leave an individual comment for each entry along with your email address!

Now go be green. Peace, Love, and all that good stuff.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"