fashion friday

I'm back in the game of HurryDate after a few weeks off. Last nights event was at a more casual place, so I didn't want to get all done up in a dress and heels...

After perusing my closet, I have come to the conclusion that I still own waaaay too much black and white. So, beware oh husband of mine....I need to go shopping yet again.

This weeks photo's feature my Tay Tay...he was all about getting in on the action.

Trying to work in some color...pink  {excuse the boxes behind me, moving next week}

from the front...

Getting in on the action with my little man...

my free necklace & close up of the shirt {thrift store find!}

trying to show the tiny pinstripes on the pants, but the camera doesn't want to pick it up...

{and Taylor keeping up the funny faces}

pink heels from Steve Madden

And a few for Tyra, in case she ups the age limit for America's Next Top Model.

{Or because I just can't take myself seriously when I take pictures of myself!}

This is...'happy surprise'

I call this...'deep thinking'

and this....'attitude'

Peace Out.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

finding balance

When words leap from my mind to the screen and something beautiful is formed, I am left with a feeling of worthiness. As though, my being created suddenly has meaning. I am defined. I have a gift.

When I snuggle with my Taylor on the couch or cozied up in my bed, and he wraps his arms around me and whispers I am his best friend, my heart melts. I feel successful. Loved. Complete.

When my children are bathed and fed and we're playing on the floor enveloped in laughter, and my husband walks in the door to see such beauty...my heart soars. I am doing what I was meant to do.

When the kids are nestled under their covers dreaming peacefully, and my man and I are engaged in words so sweet, I know I'm building a legacy.

My struggle, I find, is the balance. The intentionality of it all. Finding a way to bring all the things together that bring beauty and purpose. To make them all fit. To make them all flow.

Le Musings was the beginning of finding purpose outside my home. A way to the outside. A habit of growing something that I have kept hidden inside since the birth of my babies. A way of connecting lives and souls together.

Would I ever shut down this portal I have created? I can't say that I would. I need to write, I need to share...I need it to grow, to be better, to be me.

Would I alter the way things are done, so as to be even more present in my home, in my life? Without a doubt.

Because while readers, comments, love, stats, and followers are incredibly uplifting to my soul, to my gift...

If I lose the real fans, the three in my home, the three hearts beating outside my body, my extended selves...my husband, my son, my daughter...my gift would have no meaning.....and then it was all for nothing.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

traditions

So, in light of my rebellious confession, I feel I need to go deeper here with my peeps.

Let's talk about traditions.

I already touched on the traditional role of a stay at home mom cooking the dinner. And how that thought not only makes me want to rebel and run away, but it also slightly makes me a bit nauseous.

But, I also have issue with traditions. Doing things simply because it's the "American Way."

I did not grow up in a typical way. Some of it I loved, some of it not so much.

I don't necessarily want the memories of every other person I meet. I like that some of my childhood stuff is different. That it sets me apart. Although strange, I like that ground seasoned hamburger meat constituted a meal in my home. It was good, I loved it, and I can't say that too many people I know can say that.

I like different. It feels good. It suits me.

I mean, isn't it more about the love we are giving then what and how things are being done. Isn't it that our kids simply remember how much they were loved, adored and cared for far more important then if they had a three course well rounded meal every night? (oh yes, it always goes back to the cooking. Always.)

So you see, that's what I'm saying.

In my eyes, it doesn't have to be typical. It doesn't have to be the norm. It can be different then your neighbor or your cousin. God created every single person on this earth to be unique. So why can't that flow into our lives?

Being American to me doesn't mean having to be the same, or typical. Of course, if the American Dream or typical suits you, I am all for supporting you in your cause. I just don't want to wear it. All I desire is to be loved and accepted for what I choose as well.

See, rebellious I tell you.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

i'm in trouble

I took Taylor for special time the other day...

This was the conversation we had:

T: What's in jail?

Me: Bad guys.

T: What else?

Me: Scary bugs.

T: How do you get to jail?

Me: You do bad things.

T: Like what?

Me: Like stealing.

T: I want to steal.

Me: Why?

T: Because I want to see what jail is like. Who will take me there?

Me: A policeman.

T: What if I won't listen to him?

Me: He'll put handcuffs on you.

T: Then I will totally freak out.

Me: So, don't steal.

T: But, I want to go see what jail is like.

Crap. I'm in big trouble.  Good times ahead.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

Intervention

{To enter my DVD giveaway, click here}

You know me. I live to make your life better.

From finding you good books to read and amazing mascara to try, to saving you from the fire and obsessing about the scale. 

I am here for you and I aim to please.

So, it's only natural that I continue in this fashion.

And it's time. It's time for you to be released yet again. 

I'm referring to the guilt of commenting or not commenting. It's been all consuming, I know. You haven't been sleeping at night. You find it's hard to eat. Your kids haven't bathed or seen the whites of your eyes in months.

So, I think it's time for an intervention. And if I learned anything from Intervention, it's how to write a good intervention letter.

And I did. It was good too. Nice and long and full of deep feelings and thoughts.

But then I thought, commenting has taken so much time away from your life already...why take more time with a long emotional letter as well?

Let me be clear though on something. Because, I'd hate for you to be confused.

Bloggers love comments. We love that we can share our writing and get instant gratification through comments. What other kind of writers get that?

I love knowing if something I wrote touched you enough to want to take a moment to share your thoughts. Or if I made you laugh, or if you can relate....or....well you get what I'm saying. If that's the case, please comment away. I adore them. And you. Yes, you.

What I don't want you to worry about is commenting just to show you were here. I have site meter. I know you were. It's okay. And if you're a blogger yourself, know that I will still come to your blog and read you. I will still love you. And, I will still accept you in my Le Musings World.  Come shirtless, shoeless, commentless...I accept you all.  (Just keep the pants on.  Because that is kinda creepy.  And gross.  And weird.  And well, a whole other intervention all together.)

The thing is, I have just been noticing that a lot of people are seeming to feel obligated, overwhelmed, and full of guilt {maybe that last one is just me} when they reach the bottom of the article {post or what not} and they reach the glowing link of "comment."

Feed my kids lunch or comment on the 50 blogs I read? Shower or leave 100 comments saying, "I was here.  Stay cool."  Comment or breathe. Not comment and die.

Right? Something like that?

That's why I release you. Comment if you want. Don't if you don't. Comment sometimes, but not other times. Comment daily, comment never. It's up to you. Let. Go. Of. The. Guilt. {Sweet sisters, this is for you too.  I know it's been killing you that you don't have time to comment.}

I feel the need to make sure you clearly understand me. Since, I am after all, all about improving your life.

I AM NOT RELEASING YOU FROM READING MY BLOG. Comprende? In fact, I am ordering you to make it a habit (an addiction, really) to come to Le Musings of Moi at least once a day and bathe in my words. Drink them up. Get drunk on my love of writing, wisdom and knowledge.

There will never be an intervention or a release from that. Just to be clear.

So, good.  I'm glad we had this little talk. Don't you feel better?

Not only did I learn something from Intervention, but I also learned something from Obama.

And that's change is coming. Yes You Can!



© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

blogversations & change

Not only was my vacation good for my tan, but I think it was also good for my soul. Weird how Vegas can do that to a person.

I read a book. An entire book, and I completely loved it. 

I was away from the computer. For three entire days I didn't do a thing but print directions on how to get from Vegas to home. And I loved it. 

I thought of my kids and my husband and my impending move, and I realized in being away from them, just how much I loved them.

I don't really know what's going to change, I just know there will be changes.

There is one thing though, that I do know about. And that is that this is the very last "official" Blogversations. It's been fun. And I've been proud of those of you willing to step out of your comfort zone to show your face. 

One thing about writing and entertaining...is that I want to keep it fun and something I look forward to doing. Somehow, knowing I have to do it once a week or even every other week has taken a bit of the fun and spontenaitity out of it. For me anyhow.

I am not saying, in any way, that blogging has killed the video star (Isn't that how the song goes???). I will still, at times, be making and sharing my dorky videos, it's just that I won't be linking up and there won't be any warnings as to when it's coming!!! 

I know, I'm crazy like that.

So anyway, I thought what better way to end Blogversations than to laugh? Ellen likes to dance. I like to laugh. And this video will make you do just that. Enjoy.

{Hear how my voice is all sexy and stuff???}

And by the way, Taylor had to change out of his shorts after this video. Laughing that hard makes the kid pee. Now, how funny is that???

Your turn...if you want:

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

not the usual

Normally, I don't post twice in one day...and normally I don't do Q&A meme's. But, today I feel spicy. Or I'm procrastinating packing.

8 things I'm looking forward to:

1. Decorating my new apartment

2. Getting back into my workout routine

3. Saving money

4. Getting my hair beautified tomorrow

5. Visiting my family in July

6. Rachel Zoe's Season 2

7. Becoming the Number 1 blogger...  =)

8. Or being paid for my writing.  

8 things i did yesterday:  {brace yourself, it was a very exciting day!}

1. Took everything off my walls

2. Packed all my books

3. Watched Hancock

4. Read until midnight

5. Blogged

6. Went to the doctors for an ultrasound

7. Started the dishwasher

8. Took a shower

8 things i wish i could do:

1. Keep my house in order.

2. Enjoyed eating healthy

3. Become published.  Or at least well loved for my writing.

4. Be more patient with my kids.

5. Go on a shopping 'spree' with somebody else's money...

6. Sing.  Well.  

7. Dance, better.

8. Have a nanny, housecleaner and a chef

8 shows i enjoy: 

1. Desperate Housewives

2. Grey's Anatomy

3. The Office

4. Parks & Recreation

5. Kath & Kim {where is it???}

6. Rachel Zoe

7. The City

8. The Hills

8 friends I am choosing to play along:

Any of you who want to spice it up with me!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

friday fashion

I am way to relaxed {lazy} to get all dressed up cute this week.  Vegas dress up just about did me in.  So instead I've reached into the vault of pictures to show you some of what you've already seen.  But, a little bit different.

Still deciding, but I think I may be going short...

Paired with plaid...

The full look...

Is this thing on?

I call them my church shoes.  Because I can only wear them standing for a short time.  

{So, I wear them to church when I'm sitting most of the time.}

And that's about it.  Fun times, right?

I feel so totally off this week.  I haven't been able to get connected to my computer quite the way I was before I left.  I'm thinking that may be a good thing.  Not to mention, I'm still without a voice, busy being poked and prodded at the doctors due to mysteriously high bilirubin levels, and I'm trying to pack the house.

Ya, so computer what?

But, I did get my video done for Blogversations on Saturday....

Speaking of....is anybody really feeling those anymore?  It seems that the last time we had less interest.  Am I right?  {I usually am.}

P.S.  It's been a week since my feet have touched the scale.  It's actually a very freeing feeling.  Who did it with me?

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

my baby....is all growns up!!!

And I'm sad.

Check it out!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

get up, stand up! stand up for your rights...

It's not often I get all powered up about things, but I simply can't NOT say something about this whole Miss California issue.

To be honest, I'm a little angry at the fact that people are being so harsh and so judging. In fact, I can't believe her answer is even an issue.

We live in a country where we all have a right to our opinions. We live in a country where we can choose what we believe and live out those beliefs. We live in a country where we celebrate a land of differences living peacefully together.

Like it or not, we are free. Free to be our own people. Free to be different.

Nobody wants to be judged. Whatever your orientation sexually, religiously, personally....you want to be accepted. And yet, the moment somebody stands up for their beliefs, she is burned at the stakes.

How can people be so outraged that she said what she said?

I feel outraged that they are even taking the time to judge her, when they themselves are trying to protest being judged.

And the thing is, she wasn't being judgemental! She never put anybody down. She simply answered a question with what she believes.

Remember, she was running for Miss USA. USA, the United States of America. Home Of The Free. She was not running for Miss Politically Correct. See the difference?

She should be honored for staying true to who she is. For standing up for what she believes. For not being a "follower" or selling out by taking the middle of the road answer.

Regardless of what we believe or how we live, we were not given the right to judge. That is not our job nor is it our place.

Want to be loved? Want to be accepted?

Then we need to start doing the same.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

deep thoughts...by summer

Ever been on a long drive all by yourself?

I just had this experience doing the drive to Vegas, and while I would normally pass the time singing along with Jewel and Broadway Soundtracks (and sounding exactly like them, I might add), this time with my throat hurting, I found myself alone with my thoughts instead.

And that can be a scary thing.

Here's what passed through my mind...

• Why is it that the Mexican stations have better and stronger signals in the middle of the desert then the American stations?  Seems a bit strange.
• Blog.  Why is it named "Blog?"  Such a silly word.  
• What makes people like a certain blog?  Why do people like mine?  Why do people not like mine?  Why, why, why?
• Every town in America has at least two exits with the same name.  Main Street and Auto Parkway.  Weird.
• Cruise control is an awesome invention.  Wish I had thought it up.
• Glazed doughnuts and diet coke taste mighty fine at 5 in the morning.  
• Should I really get rid of the scale?  Yes, I should.  But, really?  Yes, I should, I promised my readers.  But will they ever know?  No, but I will.  {How honest am I?!?}
• Wonder what it would be like if our seats in the car doubled as a toilet.  Where would the pee go?
• {In the first hour of driving there...}  How can I leave my kids, my husband, my life...I'm scared to drive out of California all alone.
• {An hour later}  I love being all alone, what if I kept driving and never came back?  Um....KIDDING...of course.  Kinda.

See how I get all deep and stuff?

Anyway, Vegas was fun.  We spent a lot of time pool side working on our tans.  And then we burned calories dancing the night away.  I just have to say, Vegas is insane.  We were quite the conservative bunch compared to the "ladies" we saw.  

Oh, but I forgot to tell you the big news.  

I sat at the VIP booth right next to Janelle from Sunset Tan.  Uh huh.  Oh yeah, that's right.  And she kept giving my sister and I the look up and down.  So, she like totally saw us.  I actually think she was jealous of our dance moves.  

So, that makes me famous now right?

And just think, you can say you knew me when.  You lucky lucky readers you.

And yes, I said VIP booth, with table service and stuff.  That somebody else pays for.  All I had to say was, "Ever heard of Le Musings of Moi?" and then opportunities and doors opened right up for us.  That, or we were a bunch of cute girls.  Can't remember which is the truth.

Anyway, with impending stardom around the corner, I better go get ready for my debut.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

please excuse summer...

...from the blog today.

Though she just got home from her girls trip and gained some killer tan lines, she did lose her voice and her overall heath has taken a beating.

She is encouraged to sleep and rest and watch Mama Mia and lots of reality tv.

She should be back to her blog by Wednesday. With something good no less.

In the meantime, enjoy these pictures:

Our new buddy, the ref for Vegas' Roller Derby Girls.

Our night before Coyote Ugly & XS

My sister and I, boogying.

We are fierce.

Our night before Tryst.  

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

mars & venus

Men Like to Fix.

Women like to Feel.

God likes to do both.

I was reading the story where, in my opinion, the shortest and most powerful verse is found. {John 11:17-44}

Jesus wept.

He felt such deep emotion that he wept.

He literally cried and deeply felt the people's pain. And when we hurt, when others around us hurt, you can bet He is crying with us and with them.

He Feels our Pain.

And then, when everybody thought it was too late, He went and brought Lazarus back to life.

He Fixes it.

God feels it before he fixes it. But, He is moved to do both.

***

When two are married, they become one.

He brings his fixing, she brings her feeling.

The challenge we face, is how will we merge the two together so that it works?

When we can feel before we fix, but manage to do both, we can create a miracle.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

so sorry

I know, I made big promises about a surprise today. But, I ran out of time!!! I was going to make this cute little video and surprise you with my lovely face, but alas, it's just not going to happen.

Since I can't deliver, and I got your hopes up...here's a little something for you.

Remember my love of Green World Bags? Well, they just set up a coupon code for all my readers! If you use the code: lemusingsofmoi you will get 20% off your order!

Cool right?

Almost as good as one of my videos.

And although I may be gone, I still have some very awesome posts set up for the days I'm missing. Because I know, I know, it's so hard to go a day without me.

So, stop your crying now.

I feel so loved.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

fashion friday

Today I'm going with Casual Friday. I've been sick this week, and I'm trying to recover so I can lay out by the pool all weekend in Vegas.  Man, life is tough.

Anyway, here's the best I could come up with.

From the front

From the back

Without the vest

Close up of the back, which I love

New jeans, which actually may go back.  They gape in the back, and I'm not a fan.

My cozy casual shoes

Super girl

Today is my "picture day" for P90X.  I finished it.  Just look at my guns.  Free tickets to the show.

Oh my gosh, I can't believe I just did that.  I'm so embarrassed.  {Not embarrassed enough to take it down though.}

Have a great weekend.  I'll be sure to take lots of Vegas pictures and catch ya'll up when I'm back.  

Come back tomorrow.  I may have a little surprise for you.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

sick day

What my kids are saying:

"Mommy, get better...."

"...because life stops when you are sick."

I'm sick. So sick. Like I can't talk or eat sick. Sore throat sick. The kind of sick that makes me wonder if I will live till tomorrow. And I don't exaggerate either. Nope, not at all.

Did I mention I'm going on my annual girls Vegas trip on Saturday? Um ya, so it's imperative that I go back to bed and wait for my best friend Mama Kat* to show up and take care of me....

If I don't make it....then know that I loved you all.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

say what?

Sometimes I hear things that Taylor says and I can't for the life of me figure out where he got it or even what he means when he says it.

Lately here are a few things...

About moving:

Mom, I don't want to move. It's just my life.

About going to bed:

I DON'T want to go to bed. It's just a part of my life!

About picking up toys:

It's too hard mom. That's my life.

And another say what...

Needing to finish his dinner:

I'm not even hungry. It doesn't matter.

Again...getting ready for bed:

It doesn't matter mom. It doesn't matter.  

I mean, the phrase is a working one, he's just not using it the right way. Still, it's cute.  But, seriously, where is he getting this stuff?  

Then just moments ago when I was doing my workout I was singing along with Rhianna's song Umbrella. Only I was singing...

Under my arms for ever, ever, ever, eh, eh eh.

I always wondered why it was called Umbrella when the song never mentions an Umbrella. Then, suddenly it dawned on me. I was singing the wrong lyrics. 

Um, ya. 

Say what? 

This happened before when I was singing quite loudly Highway to the Devils Home. Only to be corrected that it was Danger Zone.

Whoops.

But, I still hold true to the Pussycat Dolls Song...

When I grow up I wanna see the world

Drive nice cars

I wanna have boobies... 

{yes I know, technically it's groupies....}  *Lace, I'm with you on this one!*

Anyway, all that to say, I guess I do know where Taylor gets it.  

Right phrase, wrong context.

Say what?

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

slave to the scale

She looked in the mirror and what she saw was not good.

Her eyes filled with tears,

and she turned away before they had a chance to fall.

I don't know what happened. One day I had no idea what I weighed and I didn't even care. I never worked out, I ate what I wanted and I was happy. I was secure.

Maybe it was being left by my ex for a super thin model...or maybe it was just me, something that was deep inside me just waiting to get out.

Whatever it was, one day it simply changed. I began to stare endlessly in the mirror and pick myself apart. From my head to my toes I found one thing after another that wasn't the way it was "supposed" to look.  And then the tears would fall, the oh so familiar tears.

All because I didn't measure up to my idea of what I should be.

My brain became obsessed. It was all I thought about. Food, calories, working out, weighing in, eating, not eating, am I the thinnest? Am I "the weight?"  I never starved myself.  I never over exercised. I never made myself throw up.  But as you will see, I was just as bad as anyone with a disorder.

December 13, 2003

My thoughts are catching up to me and I can see how damaging they have become and how intense it can get if I don't stop it now. I am obsessed with my body/weight. I think about it almost more than anything else in the day. The other night I broke down in tears because I felt awful that I haven't been successful at achieving perfection when it comes to my body. My poor husband tries to tell me he is happy with me the way I am, but I'm convinced he's lying. He says I need to change my self image but I just can't seem to. It sounds so much easier than it really is. I look in the mirror or at pictures of me and immediately I pick myself apart. Even as I write this I feel so convicted and ashamed. How can I spend so much time focusing on something that won't last? When I don't even spend half the time on something that will. My body obsession has totally taken importance over my relationship with God. How can I be so superficial and retarded? And the thing is, how do I change such ingrained habits? I don't even know where to begin. All I know is I see so many bad patterns and I need help. I need hope.

October 16, 2005

...I've never felt so undesirable. It scares me a little when I look at skinny models who are obviously underweight, and my twisted mind thinks it's beautiful. Am I on my way to an eating disorder? In my mind and thoughts I feel I already have one....only I don't starve myself or make myself throw up.  But truly, am I any different than those who do?

January 7, 2006

My heart is aching.  I know I need to stop this.  And yet, I'm beginning to avoid social situations because I'm too self conscious of how I look in my clothes.  How sad am I? I spend more time trying and thinking about how to fix my body than I do caring and growing my mind and soul.  I am not healthy.  This is not right. 

A year later, a darkness came over my world.  I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.  And each time I would catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror I shuddered.  I'd finally achieved the gaunt look I lusted after and yet suddenly, I despised it.  Needless to say, it was then that I received praise and adoration for how thin and how great I looked.  Little did they know what was plauging me to achieve it.

And then something clicked.  I'd had enough.  

It was the beginning of change.  A small change.

Then God gave me a daughter.  And, I heard him saying, "Summer, it is time."  

I no longer see the super thin as desirable.  I no longer want to be the skinniest.  In fact, I feel sad for those I see struggling.  

In no way have I arrived.  But, I have changed paths.  I'm walking a new way, and the further I get, the healthier I become.

I am healthy.  I am content.  That should be enough.  So, April 17th, I will say goodbye to my scale.

I will no longer be it's slave.

I dare you to walk with me.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

this old house

I feel some change a coming. {And it actually has nothing to do with Obama!}

This move has me fawning over design sites and blogs like never before, and I've even started an inspiration folder of pictures. I don't know what's coming over me, but it's seeming like my style is changing. I think it might have something to do with the fact that the new place is so small, and I want to make it as bright and happy as possible. Whatever the reason, I'm loving what is drawing me in. But, before I show you the inspiration of the new me, here's what I have now.

So, you see...lot's of neutrals. Now, look at the space I have to work with...we'll call it the before...

And here's my inspiration album for the new place...

I have a shopping trip to Ikea planned this week, and I can't wait to get started making this apartment the cutest thing yet. I'm also considering having the kids share a room, and making the third bedroom a playroom. Good idea? Bad idea? We'll see, I guess.

Anyway, I'm obsessing, yes I know. But, it's keeping me excited about moving forward rather than being sad about what I'm leaving behind...

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"