fashion friday details

So, it's official.

I've decided to make the next few Fashion Friday posts open to all! I'll put up Mr. Linky and any of you are welcome and encouraged to link up to your favorite fashion of the week.

If it seems to take off, I'll be more than happy to make it a regular thing.

Here's the details...as I've decided to make up rules, because I'm in charge, and I like rules.

As long as it's related to fashion, you can link up. Take and post pictures of your favorite outfit (dressy or casual), your favorite hair style, your cutest purse, shoes, jewelry....basically anything during the week that you wear and you want to show off.

I think we're all looking for new ideas and inspiration of all kinds, so don't think you aren't fashionable enough to join in! I want to see it all!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

the time card of your day

What is the time card of your day?  

What would it look like if you documented every hour of every day for a week?

 

What would it look like? 

What would it show about who you are? 

I've been thinking a little about this. And have even considered making it a homework project for myself. I'm not sure I'm brave enough to share it with the world, but I think just doing it for myself could make a huge difference in how I spend my time.

I don't know. Just a thought, and one I wanted to share.

Anybody else interested in doing something like this?

What do you think you would learn about yourself?

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

fashion casual friday

It was a casual week this week. 

Jimmy's getting a little better at taking these...

Anyway, these are my favorite Abercrombie Jeans that I live in, but I think I've been having too many free days because they were a little tight when I put them on this particular day.  My top is Forever 21, the shoes...are you ready for this....Hush Puppies.  Mmm hmmm.  I'm 30 now so I can officially rock them.  My necklace is Wet Seal.  

I'm considering making my Fashion Friday's an open post and adding in Mr. Linky for anyone who wants to show off their favorite outfit of the week.  We all have different styles and ideas of fashion and I think it would be awesome to show them all off and link it back to one place.  Ya?

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

drop (kick) the scale

It has been almost 6 weeks since I've stepped on the scale. This from stepping on several times a week, trying to make sure I stayed at my "ideal" weight. And anytime that number fluctuated even one pound up or down, my mood and my day were affected.

And yet, if I was honest, when I looked in the mirror, I couldn't see a difference.

It was annoying to say the least, not just to me, but especially to Jimmy. (Though he weighs in daily too, I might add.)

Anyway, after I read "I'm Beautiful, Dammit" I decided it was time for a change. I decided no more weight talk. Instead, I would go by how I felt, how I looked in the mirror, and how my clothes fit. If my pants got snug, then I would know it was time for more cardio and less chocolate cake.  (Kinda where I am right now.)

I have to say, it was not an easy addiction to give up. In the beginning there were days that I wanted to cheat oh so bad. But, I am so glad I stayed strong. Because I have really learned a lot in the last 6 weeks.

Here are just a few things:

• I am not nearly as hard on myself for a good or bad day of eating.

• I don't dread the wake up portion of my morning where I would first pee (to lose a pound) and then go to the scale to see what kind of an eating day I could have. 

• I like my body more. 

• I enjoy eating more.

• I enjoy my workouts more.

• I notice how much people talk about weight and numbers, and it relieves me that I can't join in. I don't know what I weigh, and I like it that way. The competition is gone. I love it.

I am still attempting to eat healthy with one free day a week, and I still work out at least 4 or 5 days a week. But, I am doing all that because I want to. Because I love it. Not because I am striving to achieve a size or a number or to compete with the girl down the street. (By the way, there is no girl down the street. It's a metaphor.)

It's been amazing.

You know, I just realized that 30 has been an interesting year so far. I feel like I've really been learning a lot. I've had to make some uncomfortable decisions that weren't necessarily the most fun, but ended up being the absolute best for me and my family in the long run. I call them grown up decisions.

With each grown up decision, a burden is lifted and the skies become clearer.

And to think, it all started with drop kicking the scale.

So, with all the peer pressure I can muster....I urge all of you to do the same. Forget the numbers, forget the perfect or ideal size. Instead be healthy and love and enjoy your body for what it does and what it gives to you.

Trust me, being a grown up can be kinda fun in the long run.  And you know, everybody's doing it!

On a non related note:

See those cute little pink boxes on the far right of my blog?  The ones for advertising?  If you'd like to have your ad there, email me and I'll be more than happy to go over rates with you!  

*In case you want to follow me, and I don't see why you wouldn't, I moved that gadget to the bottom of my page.  There, now you can sleep better.*

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

the hills, the bachelorette, and jon & kate therapy

While yes, prayers and love did help to make me feel better....I must confess, there was something else.

Reality TV.

Ahhh, the therapy of a good reality show.

My thoughts...

The Hills:

I want to sit down with Heidi. She needs to know that her hair is not good. It's not good at all. And since nobody else wants to say it, I will. And while I'm at it, I'll tell her that she can take it easy on the lip gloss too. It is never a good look to appear as though your nose has run all over your lips.

Yes Heidi, but it hurts me more than you...

And I know this has already been all the talk, but seriously, what is up with Lauren's upper lip stache? Is this a new trend I'm not aware of, like the bushy eyebrows that are trying to make a come back as well?

Also, has anyone noticed that most of the show now takes place in either a restaurant or a shopping place? I may be slow on the uptake, but is it possible that this show could be staged?

Lets talk The Bachelorette:

Forgive me, because I'm not good with names, but let's review who is left. We have Foot Fetish Guy, Country Singer Guy, Angry Bug Eyed Guy, Laid Back Cali Guy, Rico Suave Guy, and then all the rest of them. Boy, they really stand out this season.

Jillian kinda bugs me now too. She talks waaaay too much about how "fun" and "spontaneous" she is. I mean come on, enough talk about it. If you have to mention it every ten minutes, then who are you really trying to convince?

Nope, you're not fooling me.  Your one step away from the happy pills my dear...

I'm not hooked yet, but I'll keep watching. Because watching guys wear speedo's and jump in the pool naked and everything else that makes them look psycho is always good time.

Lastly, I need to address the whole Jon & Kate thing.

I have to say, I only watched the show for half a season when it first started. I had to quit because honestly, watching their life filled me with anxiety. I found myself turning down the tv every few minutes in an effort to make them be quiet, until finally I got to the point that the show had no volume.

Quick, smile, pretend we love each other...I. Can. Force. It!

Anyway, not to toot my own horn, but I called them on their marriage a couple of years ago, long before bodyguards and college babes. I have a sense about these things. Or at least I can pick up on the fact that men do not like to be humiliated in front of their kids, their neighbors, their family, the Walmart public...and especially not in front of the whole nation watching their reality show. I also know that women really want a man to man up and help out, not act like a helpless kid when there are 8 others doing that job just fine.

So ya, I knew this was coming. I really should be a marriage psychic. 

And really, all this marriage talk brings us full circle back to The Hills. And Heidi and Spencer. Will they last? My psychic mind says, um no.  

So you see, with all the time I spent dissecting and analyzing everybody else's life and problems, my issues kinda faded away.

And that's why I love Reality TV.

The end.

P.S. I'm going to watch Tori & Dean. Now there's a couple that will last forever. =)

P.P.S.  In case you want to follow me, and I don't see why you wouldn't, I moved that gadget to the bottom of my page.  There, now you can sleep better.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

...the lesson

It was just a moment. A quick uncomfortable moment.

I am so thankful for my husband, for I am never alone in any of this when I experience such things. He sat with me, held me, prayed for me, and talked me through it.

What he helped me learn...I am great in stress. I am focused, I get the job done, I stay strong. It's when it's all over with, when all is calm, and things are returning to normal and I begin to unwind and relax...that's when the moments come.

I have to learn for the next time, that in the midst of the chaos to take time to relax. To breathe. To unwind. To feel.

And then perhaps, when it's all over, there will be nothing pent up that needs to expel itself.

Tearfully uncomfortable is never a welcomed emotion. But, if it brings clarity for my life, then I welcome it.

Just not again anytime soon.

I have enough clarity for this year.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

tearfully uncomfortable

Tonight I sit, tearfully uncomfortable.

I don't understand the reasons why. I know that at times, this comes on without warning, without meaning, without cause. So, I sit and wait. I hope and pray. I feel and do my best to learn the lesson.

The hardest part for me is to overcome is the fear. The fear of the return, the fear of the known. The what ifs and the what I know it could be.

And yet, I've seen the other side. I know the calm, I know the peace. I've experienced it even among the chaos of my soul.

I know that it brings change. It brings light. It brings joy and trust.

It brings, but that isn't what is here now. All I know is that what is here, what I feel, it's absolutely not for the weak. I am not weak. I was not made that way. I will press on. I will hold on.

So as the night gets longer and darker, I will continue to sit, tearfully uncomfortable. I will feel it. I will experience it. And I know, in time, I will see the other side.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

eve-itis

I wrote this post a year ago in honor of my grandpa on Memorial Day. Since I didn't have many readers then, I thought I would make a few edits and re-post it so that you could learn from him the way I did.

When my grandpa was sick last year I went home to spend some time with him. It was one of the hardest things, but the best thing I've ever done. I was able to sit with him, feed him, help with his blood level testings, and even help to put him to bed. It was incredibly special to be able to help make his experience better in some way.

Every day he would ask someone to sit with him and read him something from the bible. And as my niece was reading to him one day, I heard him reciting along from memory.

Every night when we put him into his bed, we all gathered around him and took turns praying, he included. He was so positive, even funny at times, and when he felt emotion he allowed the tears to fall without shame.

A week after I got home, he passed away. But that last week I spent with him changed my life. 

I was amazed that every single day he lived was for the Lord. He never missed a day of reading his Bible, even when he was days away from his last breath. 

I was inspired. And though he was dying of bone cancer, the most painful kind of all, I never heard him complain. Not once. And when the Lord finally took him home, his four daughters and his wife were surrounding his bed, listening to his favorite hymn.

The day I flew home from the funeral, I got a daily bible and I made a promise to myself and to God, that I would follow in his footsteps by reading the Bible every single day no matter what. And of course, one of the first things I read was the story of Adam and Eve.

What hit me as I was reading the story is that Eve had everything she could possibly want. She had the man, the perfect body, no worries about what to wear...no worries about anything really.

She lived in perfection. She was perfection. And on top of that, she got to hang out with God and hear His voice whenever she wanted to. And yet, there was this tree. This one and only tree that was off limits. One simple little tree in a garden of perfection. It would seem to me that if I were in her place, I could easily brush it off and obey God's command. 

But, would I really?

The thing is, we all have this nature to not be content in our circumstances no matter what they may be. We tend to look around and find the one thing, the one thing, that we don't have and then decide if only we had it, we could be content.

From the beginning of time, God gave free will. He gives a choice. He gave Eve everything she could want or need but without that tree, where would her free will, her choice, really be? 

Even in perfection, Eve looked around and saw what she didn't have. She felt God was withholding something that would complete her, and so she took things into her own hands. She went to the tree, talked to the serpent, and made that fateful decision. She took a bite,then  convinced Adam to take a bite, and suddenly their eyes were opened. Contentment went out the window and sin came in to take it's place. Of course, we all know, she didn't know better than God. Her way did not end up being better than His.

My life is certainly far from perfect, but I have been incredibly blessed. Yet, so often, too often, I get consumed with what I'm missing out on. I become discontent and I start to complain. I develop what I've started to call, "Eve-itis." I forget what I have, what I have been given, and I focus on what I think God is withholding from me. I play God in my life, and when I do, it never ends up being better than if I had just waited on Him.

It all brings me back to my grandpa. What did he have? He didn't have his health, his freedom, his youth, and he certainly didn't have any control over his body. Every pleasure seemed to have been taken from him. He was definitely far from living in perfection. But, you never heard him talk about that. He never vented or asked, "why me?" He sat in peaceful silence and was grateful for every moment he had with the people he loved. He held my hand and thanked me for the meal he could barely eat. He prayed to the Lord every day and told Him he loved Him. He was content. He never showed any signs or symptoms of Eve-itis.

My prayer is that I can also follow his example in this as well. To be able to climb my way out of Eve-itis when it hits. No matter what my circumstances may be.

***In honor of Harold Owen Lindley on Memorial Day****

My grandpa spent much of his life serving our country through several wars in the Navy. Though my grandpa didn't lose his life in battle for our country, he certainly died in a battle against cancer. And yet through it all, his life changed everyone who crossed his path. Talk about a legacy.  I love you grandpa, thank you for your love and for your example.  

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

owl be seeing more of these!

In my quest for a fresh new design for my new apartment, I've suddenly fallen in love with anything and everything owl! There is just something so sweet, yet wise and vintage about them. And all I know is that I will soon be seeing more of them around my place.

Here are just a few examples, of course, all from etsy:

Needlings

Bonte

Jenna Michelle

Love Stricken

Almost Sunday

Lemon Tree Studio

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

tagalicious

I am a busy girl today. I've been putting the pressure on Jimmy to finish the apartment, so that my heart palpitations can finally go away and I may finally rest in peace.

So, there is no time to write. Or think. Or eat.  Kidding, I always have time to eat.

But, I did have a chance to take a few pictures for a quick post since I was tagged over at Dancing in the Rain. 

My "MJ" Bag  

What's inside:

To Do List

Grocery List

Pen 

Picture Taylor colored for me

Clips

Extra Gum

Peach Iced Tea Ice Breakers

mark lipsticks

Mac Studio Fix

Wallet

Coach wristlet (which has my lip gloss, blush, tweasers)

Yellow case for xanax because you just never know...

bronze zipper thing that holds my lady stuff

Purell

and

Wisp toothbrush's 

I guess I could be stranded on an island and make it a few days with all this stuff!

Hope you're enjoying your weekend!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

fashion friday

I was really excited to wear this dress tonight. I bought it right after I had Chloe, but haven't actually worn it yet.

So, I strutted my stuff into HurryDate and not two minutes before the event was about to begin, one of the guys casually asked me when I was due. WHEN I WAS DUE!!!!!! 

My eyes filled with tears before I even had a second to think about it. Seriously, what the heck? After I said excuse me, and only after he again repeated the question, did I decide to make this a teaching moment. I raised my voice so that the surrounding men could hear and informed them that even if the girl looks like she is about to give birth tomorrow, you NEVER ask when she is due.

What's even more awful about that guy, is that he ended my night by asking me out. To lunch. Even though I told him I was HAPPILY married. His take on things was that there must be days in my marriage I'm not happy, so those would be the days I could call him. I reminded him he previously thought I was pregnant, and he told me he hadn't really cared. He was okay with stepchildren.

And with that story, I present to you my maternity pick-up dress.  (Click pictures for a larger image)

{The grassy area outside my apartment.}

Dress is Pettycoat Alley from TJ Maxx and the knee high socks are from TJ Maxx as well.  Button up sweater is Guess...and I have to thank Marisa for letting me borrow it.  She may never see it again.

{I do attitude so well, I thought, why not?}

Tank top is an old Hanes one I've had forever.  I can find a way to fit a white tank into any outfit.  Fashionable or not.  Tiffany ring is a christmas gift from my man.  The necklace is so old I don't even remember where it's from.  Does that mean it's vintage?

{The view from our apartment.}

My most favorite motorcycle boots ever.  (Forever 21)

{My sweet girl.  I think it's time she gets in on the fashion posts.  There will be a day I have to pass the torch, so I need to get used to sharing the spotlight now.}  

 The leg warmers and headband are both from etsy.  The 'I make boys cry' onesie is a hand me down from two of her cousins.

The pink silk dress is another hand me down from her cousins, and the headband is from Kensie Poo on etsy.

Have a great holiday weekend!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

sick it to ya

So, I've made some changes around here.  Cleaning things up.  If you're looking to follow me, I put that whole thing at the very bottom of my blog.  I'm still working out a few other things, but bear with me...it will come together soon.  

Vlogemotions and Writers Workshop kinda go hand in hand again, so I'm pairing the two up.

Just to warn you, some stuff is about to hit the fan, so um, beware..

First off before I begin my list, let my video explain my mood:

Okay, now onto the list. 

10 things that I'm currently sick of.

1.  I'll say it again, the mess in my house.  

2.  The person in my house who refuses to put a new roll of toilet paper on the roll when HE uses up the rest of the other one.

3.  The upstairs neighbors who refuse to take off their shoes while tap dancing and smoking pot at the same time.  I think they may have an OCD habit of opening and closing the patio door at midnight as well.  

4.  The words poison, toxic, and all other descriptive words pertaining to my "alleged" diet coke addiction.  Don't EVEN get me started.  (love you A, I do.  I promise.  But, I love my diet coke too.)

5.  American Idol.  

6.  Sore throats.

7.  Too skinny celebrities and the question or discussion of weight.

8.  Twilight.  There I said it.

9.  Working out.  I just want to be in shape by eating chocolate cake.  It's not fair.

10.  Waking up at 6 am.  Why don't kids understand or appreciate the art of sleeping in?  Why oh why?

I realize I'm a bucket of fun right now.  But, I think I will feel much more centered and at peace once my house is in order.  I'm not a big fan of chaos.  Not a big fan at all.

I do feel much better about my new blog design made by the genuis Joanna from Southern Blog Designs.

It's so clean, so website-ish, so amazing.  If you want a re-design, she's running a special right now so go check her out and take full advantage of it!

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

observations...reality tv style

Today it was between working out, going to the grocery store, or catching up on my reality tv shows. Guess what won out?

It's been awhile since I've posted on my obsessions and I think its high time. (My new upstairs neighbors would be giggling right now that I just said high.)

Dancing with the Stars

Borrrrrring. 

All season was painful for me to watch. I don't even really know why I continued to do so. But I did, and here are my thoughts. 

Chuck and his blonde girlfriend: I don't think life is fair, and they simply prove it. How can two people look so hot no matter what is going on or what they're doing? I think she could be puking her brains out and still look amazing. It's not fair. My self esteem needed them to go home.

Shawn Johnson: She reminds me of those beauty pageant toddlers. She looks exactly like them! All little and young, but done up as though she is a drag queen. It made me sad. I just wanted to throw some PINK sweats on her and hand her a text messaging phone and be done with it.

Melissa: Watching her made me want to get in shape. Seriously, did you see her become the perfect body before your eyes? Being dumped nationally combined with dancing I guess does wonders for your abs. 

Moving on to the other heartbroken girl in my life...

The Bachelorette

I only watched the first ten minutes before I fell asleep. I think after the ten minutes of seeing Jillian in her bikini, running, working out, washing a car?, walking in a field of flowers whilst staring off pondering her life.....really at that point, only the men watching could have still been awake.

I'll try to get back to that one later.

Might I mention again, that heartbreak did wonders for her body?  Has she been dancing too??

The Hills

I don't even know anymore what's real and what isn't. And it's affecting me in such ways I didn't even know were possible. Such as, is this diet coke I'm drinking really diet? Is this couch I'm sitting on really real? Because if The Hills isn't reality tv, if it's truly scripted, then what is real anymore?

And don't even tell me that Heidi's hair, nose, chin, boobs, and eyelashes aren't real either, because then I think my world would really fall apart.

American Idol

Again, even with Danny Gokey, I was still super bored all season. I don't think I can handle another season of this. It's not fun anymore. It feels like torture really. And you might shoot me, but I don't see what the big deal is about Adam. He likes to scream a lot, and come on now, we get he can hit the high notes. WE GET IT! But, I'm not too surprised, because of all the winners over the past years, I've never been a big fan or wanted to run out and buy the winning cd. Won't happen this time either...unless Kris wins.  

I'm not holding my breath.

Also, they need new writers.  Because the cue cards that say:  You can sing the phone book, Aw dawg, it's a bit pitchy, song choice song choice, wasn't my favorite performance....and so on, are getting old.  It's like they just rotate the cards and the judges just recite what they see.  

Not fun.

But what is fun????

Real Housewives of New Jersey

I am in love.  And while there are rumors someone is mafia affiliated, it is certainly not I spreading those rumors.  Uh uh.  No way would I ever ever assume such a thing.  

I think I love this show.  They are sthicker than stheives, and don't you know I won't ever forget it.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

matchmaker, matchmaker...make me a match

In case you haven't been following my blog, I'm an event coordinator and host for an awesome speed dating company called HurryDate.

And in case you don't follow my Facebook or Twitter updates, I'm also a personal matchmaker. This is something I kind of just recently fell into. My current client brought the idea up to me, and basically...made me an offer I couldn't refuse. It sounded fun and challenging, and I thought with moving and two kids, I didn't have nearly enough to do.

So, I took him on.

I will find him the woman of his dreams so he can settle down and ride off into the sunset with her. It will be lovely and romantic, and all because of me.

But let me just say, it's not as easy as I thought it would be. And my client really is a catch. He's sweet, good looking, extremely successful....and really, any girl would be lucky to have him.

He definitely has a type, and I'm finding that his type is not as easy to come by. He's traveling to Jordan next month, and my current task is to see if I can find singles over there. The more I research, the more I find that they aren't so much into dating websites as America is.

But, I'm not a quitter. I won't give up. I will have at least one match for him when he lands. I just have to. I already lost out on Momversations, I will not lose out on this too!!!

So um....any of you know someone in Jordan? Or in Southern California that looks like their from Jordan? Or even if they look like their from Latin America, I'll take that too.

I share this with you, because the search is taking me away from the blog. And I know you don't want to have me be gone. It would kill you. Just kill you. So the sooner we find him love in Jordan, the sooner I can get back to my first love. Writing.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

newborn desires

I saw a newborn all snuggled up against a woman's chest at church yesterday and it gave me the warm fuzzies inside.

So, I quickly came home and searched in the archives and found the following post. Now, I don't have warm fuzzies anymore. Crisis adverted.

***

Wasn't it just weeks ago that I posted 7 reasons to love being pregnant? My my, how quickly things change. Let me instead now post the reality. Mostly this is not for you, but for me, so that I will be sure never to be in this predicament again. ;-) Tsk tsk, judge me if you will, but honesty is my policy here. So, stick with me here and go along with it. And then when you're done reading, love me and feel so sorry for me at the same time. It will make me feel so much better, and then I can add my 8th reason to love pregnancy. Sympathy abounds.

Reasons not to love pregnancy:

1. I can't sit like a lady anymore. Instead you can find me with my legs spread like a man, just to make room for this monster child who has taken over my body.

2. In taking over my body, I mean, I seem to be pregnant in my butt and thighs much more so than my expanding belly. How is this even right or fair?

3. When I drop something of usual importance, ie: my cell phone, keys, child (kidding!), I first look around to see if someone might be willing to stop, drop, and pick it up for me. If nobody is available, I then have to evaluate whether or not it's important enough for me to get after all. And once it's deemed important, the grunt that escapes my mouth as I drop, squat, and groan is utterly embarrassing.

4. I can't squat (or grunt) like a lady. See #1.

5. The peeing thing. Or better put, piddle. I rush to the potty (as we like to call it in our home) thinking I'm about to relieve all bladder issues for the next few hours, only to piddle piddle for two seconds. Trust me, there is no relief in a piddle piddle. Several times I have stood up, flushed, turned to walk out of the restroom, only to have to turn around and have a seat again. Piddle piddle. 

6. I can't find Jimmy in bed anymore. I am consumed by my five pillows that are constantly needing to be adjusted every few minutes throughout the night. Yes, five. One for my head, one for my knees/legs, one for the belly, one for the back, and one just to hang on to. 

7. The pain, the pain!!! Oh the aches of the pregnant woman's belly.....and back, and butt, and legs, and feet....and other areas that we don't need to go into here. There is no amount of chocolate to cure this kind of discomfort. Although, I will continue to try to find a cure with it somehow. And yet, I can't figure out how I am looking pregnant in my butt and thighs. 

8. The scale. The one I stand on in the doctors office, now every two weeks. The one that reminds me that I am indeed pregnant in more than just my stomach. The one that reminds me chocolate doesn't cure everything.

9. The comments and unsolicited advice. Comments like, "You're not too big, you just look healthy." (L, I know you meant well) Or, "You still have 8 weeks left to go? I would have thought you were due anytime!" My favorite is the nod I get after a venting of feeling fat. And then "mmmm, ya. I see what you mean. That must be hard...." Not so good for the self esteem. 

10. The emotional roller coaster. I'm good one minute, and in tears the next. Life is great and the glass is half full one second, but empty the next. I know I'm making a big ol deal about something small, and I just don't care. It feels too good to cry it out, and I couldn't stop even if I wanted too.

11. I'm tired, but I can't sleep. Because of #4, #5, #6, #7 and thoughts of #8 which leads to #10. And now I'm awake instead of sleeping.

Okay, I can stop here (though I could go on...and on...and on). Let me just silence the judgement. Yes, I agree that being pregnant is a beautiful and wonderfully amazing thing, and yes I know that it is just an incredible blessing that I get to be the one to bring this beautiful baby into the world. I know, and I agree and I get it. I'm just saying...in addition to knowing all that, please revisit #'s 1-11 and then have a little sympathy for a girl. If you don't, see #10. I can't be responsible for how I react. 

***

Now stay tuned.  I am doing yet another renovation to the blog.  I think this time, I've found the one.  The one that will stay a very long time.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

incomplete void

A void beckoned within.

A soul mate. A love. A piece of my puzzle missing, and so the search began.

What I never expected or deserved was handed from above. Contentment. Love. 

And yet, I remained incomplete.

Years later, the tears would fall. A longing. A familiar void. 

Incomplete?

Babies. The answer would be babies.

With watered eyes, I shared such revelations with Jimmy. Together we held hands and took in the moment. The moment of finding completion. My tears of sadness turned to tears of hope.

A month went by and I became pregnant. 9 long months later, my beautiful son was born. I felt amazing. I had purpose. My baby.

Time continued to pass as the seasons changed, and yet I remained the same. Purposeless. Filled with a void. A longing.

Incomplete.

I had my soul mate. I had my baby. What could be missing?

And so I searched and searched. I cried and cried. Then I waited and waited.

Still nothing, and the void became all encompassing.

My self, my soul, my smile and heart....were lost to the search. The quest. The hopelessness.

A bigger house, a higher raise, a nicer car....another baby.

And still. I remained. Unfulfilled.

As a secret is whispered softly from ones lips to anothers ears, the truth recently became mine. My eyelids heavily came to a close. A breath escaped from my soul.

It was not outside of me. It was not even within my physical or emotional grasp.

Yet I felt it, I heard it. Beyond and inside. All encompassing. Lifting me up, beckoning me on. Right there, right here.

Standing still. I knew.

The void still existing...yet subsiding one breath at a time.

Nothing physical could make it dissipate.

So I give my heart, my soul, my life...all that is within and all that is external...and the moment I do,

His breath replaces mine.

Not lost, not without hope, not without purpose. Not unfulfilled. Created for a purpose.

One breath at a time, I draw nearer toward becoming perfectly complete.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

move over facebook....

Twitter is taking over.

I twitter. I'm still figuring out the verbage, but either way...I'm a twitterer. A tweeter. Not to be confused with tweaker. And then I had another word, but Jimmy and Lacey informed me that it was a dirty word. Whoops. Sometimes it's hard being naive.

It's fun times really. Because now I know what Heidi and Spencer are doing and thinking every 5 minutes.

And Dina Lohan, that woman cracks me up. She still has yet to figure out there is a character limit and she wonders why it cuts her off. Hmmm, apple doesn't fall from the tree, huh Linds?

I also know when Mama Kat is in the bathroom with her laptop.

Nicole Ritchie proves that "stars are just like us," by tweeting about her emotions surrounding different tv shows. I love that she sits home and is hooked on the same shows. It just proves to me, that we are so alike.

Rachel Zoe is there to give fashion advice.

I can keep up on Mary Carey's sobriety.

Ope, again, Heidi is God Blessing everybody. How sweet.

Kim Kardashian tells me when to look at her pictures. Do I like this kissy face or that one? Straight hair or curly? Dark or blonde? She wants to know what I think.

Momversation taunts me with their video momversations. I drool. I dream.

Andy Dick, yup, still sober.

Oh there's that crazy Spencer again....wants to say he loves fame. Weird. That is totally news to me.

Ryan Seacrest tells me the news before it hits the news. I feel so special. I'm in with the in crowd.

So you see...you are so missing out if you aren't in Twitter World.

Because never again will you miss when people eat, drink, think, pee pee, poo poo and so on.

Come on try it....

Start by following me... Screen name: lemusingsofmoi

I'll promise to introduce you to my famous friends.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

the good, the bad, and the "oh gosh! i'm ugly!" side of motherhood

A little light weekend reading for you.

Enjoy.

The Good, the Bad and the "Oh God, I'm Ugly!" Side of Motherhood

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

fashion friday....and stuff

Last night I got to enjoy a girls night out with two of my fun friends. I don't get to see either of them as often as I wish I could, but when we get together it's like no time has passed. As usual, I got super excited about leaving my house, and couldn't wait to get dressed up. It really doesn't take much after two kids. Sad, I know.

Anyway, I busted out my new Target shoes ($30!) which made me drool a little when I tried them on, and a cute tunic I've been stowing away for about 6 months. What I was waiting for I don't know. But, all it took was a night out with the girls and I quickly ripped the tags off this little number.

The final result?

Ummm....so maybe you can tell with the last couple of pictures that I was a little grumpy. I was running late and I was hungry. I hate being late, and I really hate being hungry. And I especially hate when the two are combined. I love how Jimmy was able to capture my mood when I wasn't ready. He thought it was Hi-Larious that he captured the real grumpy me in all my glory.

Anyway, dress is Twelve by Twelve, Jeans are Sevens, Shoes are Mossimo, Necklaces are Forever 21, and the little mom necklace...etsy. My poses, as always are too unique for words. Or labels. Or even to put a price on. They're quite priceless actually.

On another note....my writing partner and I just finished another article. You should check it out...I'm sure at least one of you can relate.

The Good, the Bad and the "Oh God, I'm Ugly!" Side of Motherhood

Okay, this weekend I plan on doing my best to finish organizing the mess of my apartment (which I love. Upstairs neighbors...not so much). I hope to take pictures so I can show you the progress. I still have unfinished projects, but I know you're dying, just dying, to see how it's coming along.

And as you know, I'm here to serve.

P.S.

I'm feeling uncomfortable with my Louboutin shoes. They are just soooo expensive. I have never owned anything that pricey before that didn't have four wheels and drive me places. I mean, they are shoes for goodness sakes!!! But they were a gift from Jimmy and he was so excited to get me something nice that he knew I would never purchase for myself. But, I can't help but think of all the things we could get for the price of one pair of shoes. Only, every time I mention returning them, his face gets downcast and he mutters about how hard it is to get me nice things.

A good wife would suck it up and keep the nice shoes right? Because, I don't want to discourage him from doing thoughtful things....

Right?

So, I'm keeping them and not feeling guilty.

Right?

And yes, all of that was a P.S.

P.P.S.

I'm thinking of making a few edits to my blog...you know, to make it look more clean...more professional. Any ideas or suggestions??

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

my emotions, my tomorrows....

Yesterday, I accidentally clicked on Kayleigh's blog and saw a post about her final moments. I haven't been following the story...or really, any of the stories where there is a sick baby. It's not that I'm cold, it's simply that my heart can't take it. Empathy for me can be both a curse and a blessing.

This one post caused my tears to fall uncontrollably, and I was useless the rest of the day. Every time I thought of that sweet baby and all that her parents went through and endured....my heart would ache all over again.  And the tears would begin to flow yet again.

When I went in to get Chloe up from her nap a little later, my eyes watered just seeing her smile.  Suddenly, I could see Kayleigh in her.  I could never imagine losing such a precious baby girl. My sweet loving happy baby girl.  I picked her up quickly and held her tight.  

As I was crying later that night talking with Jimmy, I searched for meaning in this.  Why would God bring a baby to life only to take them such a short time later?  Why would he allow their parents to feel a pain worse than any other?  

Where is the lesson?

If Kayleigh's story taught me anything, it's that I need to appreciate each and every moment with my babies.

Tomorrow, I will wrap my arms around them and inhale their sweet smell, and never for a moment allow them to forget just how much I adore them.

Tomorrow, I will not complain about how hard it is being a mother. I will not wish I wasn't home with them every minute of the day. I will not hope for them to be silent.

Tomorrow, I will be thankful. I will appreciate. I will love.  I will take in each and every incredible breathing moment with them.

And then I will continue to do the same the tomorrow after that, and the tomorrow after that...and then every tomorrow that follows in which God continues to bless me with such goodness. 

Because of Kayleigh, in honor of such a sweet girl and a sweet family, my tomorrow's will absolutely be lived differently.

These babies, this laughter, this moment....

That is my heart, my soul, my every emotion...all wrapped up into two tiny sweet little beings.

They are my tomorrow's.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"

things I Love....love, love, love

I am loving some things this week, and if you are needing something to love as well, may I suggest a few things?

This (and many others) from The Poster List will soon be gracing my house.  I love their stuff!

Sooo yummy.  And great for relieving stress.  (Costco)

These look nasty, but they taste amazing.  Kinda like fruit snack but healthier.  (Costco)

I adore these hangers because they cut my closet in half!  Not to mention they make everything look neater and more uniform, and I love love love that.

Okay, this movie was my saving grace the other day.  I taped it on the DVR and Taylor loved it.  I was able to get a good deal of unpacking done while he watched it...twice.  

I so wish I had thought these up.  I received a sample pack in the mail, so I used them the week of moving since I couldn't find my detergent.  And I have to say, I may never ever go back.  My clothes smell amazing, and laundry has never been easier.  I LOVE!!!

And when I felt like Taylor had enough tv, his best friend Izabel came over and they immediately entertained each other.  I always joke that she babysits him for me.  But, honestly, it's no joke.  I hope they get married one day.

And of course, one of my best friends, Izabels mama.  While Jimmy was out of town last week and I was taking trips of stuff to the new place, she would come and watch the kids for me.  I think she babysat almost every day.  And on moving day, she took them for hours to the pool.  She's the bestest friend ever.  And I love her.

© 2009 "Le Musings of Moi"