five things

It's time you get to know a little more about me.

I am such a mystery, and there are so many depths to me, so this will barely scratch the surface.

But we must start somewhere.

~~~~~~~

5 things you don't know about me:

~ I love granny panties.  I am one sexy mama, let me tell you.

~ If I change my mind about buying something in a store, I will just drop it off in a random spot.

This irritates the "sh" out of Jimmy.

~ I prefer to poop and pee with the door open.

~ Speaking of poop, I have at times taken pictures of some impressive ones.

~ I have never seen a single episode of Star Wars.

5 things I'm knowledgeable about:

~ How to find an amazeballs deal in a thrift store.

~ Anxiety.  Sigh.

~ Microwaving dinners and ordering pizza.

~ Reading people, I find I can get a good sense about someone very quickly.

~ Tracy Anderson.  duh.  

5 things I know nothing about:

~ Physics...or most things Jimmy tries to talk to me about.

~ Blog stats.  I should know about this stuff, but I still have no idea what any of it means or how to find out what mine are.

~ Directions or how to get anywhere, even if I've been there a million times before.

This also irritates the "sh" out of Jimmy.

~ Raising kids.  Every day I wonder what the heck I'm doing and if I'm doing it right.

~ Sports.  Yawn.

5 things I believe:

~ Obviously, the first is Jesus.  He's kind of amazing.

~ That our thoughts become actions, and we must constantly guard them and keep them in check.

~ That laughter is healing.  We must laugh every day.

~ That a true friend is the greatest gift and hug from God.

~ Growth only comes from struggle, and there will always be beauty from pain.

And yes....

I am well aware that sometimes I over share.

Welcome to me. 

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

my favorite thing to wear in my closet...and stuff

While I'm still adjusting getting back on Cali time and all that, I thought this would be a perfect chance to share some of what you may have been missing out on with the SheKnows.com Mommalogues!

{check back on their website daily for new videos and topics!}

~~~~~~~

How has having kids impacted your career?

Ever since I was a little girl, all I ever wanted to do (besides move out of Washington State) was to get married and be a mom.  Being a mom was going to be my career and I was going to love each and every minute of it.  So having kids became my career.  Until it became my career.  And now?  Everything’s changed.

~~~~~~~

How hard is it to get the kids up for school in the morning?

I think the question should be more how hard is it to get my husband and I up in the morning.  My kids are still young and naïve enough to believe that life is so exciting and wonderful that they must wake before the sun to get the most of every minute of their day.  Jimmy and I on the other hand, we know better.  I’m just hoping that by the time their hormones kick in, they’ll get how it’s really supposed to be.

~~~~~~~

What's your favorite thing to wear out of your closet?

This one is hard, because I love so much of my closet.  I’m super into long maxi dresses right now, because they are all kinds of amazing.  And then I love any and all tunics with jeans layered with yummy sweaters.  But, honestly?  The one thing I love the most and wear the most is not nearly so glamorous or fashionable.  But, they are magical and I will wear them until they literally fall apart.

~~~~~~~

Which would you pick for a 1 week vacation with the kids?  Beach, Mountains or City?

With kids?!? People take vacations with kids?!?  Who are these people? Okay, okay….I’ll play along.  Well, because I spent most of my life being cold growing up in Washington State, I now try to make up for it in my adult life by doing my best to stay near the warmth.  But usually where there is sun, there is sand.  And Jimmy is the only one of us four that doesn’t mind that nasty messy stuff.  But, I guess sometimes we just have to make sacrifices to be happy, and if that means touching sand, then so be it.

~~~~~~~

Now what about you guys?

Share your stories and responses, I'd love to hear!

xoxo

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

i believe in family and medication

Long before the anxiety kicked in, I thought it would be a GREAT idea to rent a minivan and load up the kids and drive to San Antonio for Thanksgiving to see my sister and her family.  And then when my aunt decided to meet us all there as well, it just made it THAT much more exciting.

And then the anxiety happened.

And for awhile there, it was touch and go.  

I really wasn't sure I'd be able to make the trip.

But, my family is amazing and loving and supportive, and I knew if there was any place I could go and be accepted right where I was, it was with them.

So we decided to go regardless.

And then we started driving.

{dramatic pause.}

And it was then that I became an OFFICIAL believer of medicine, because had it not been for certain prescriptions I'm not sure certain ones of us would have survived.

But we made it there.

And we survived.

We bonded, and loved, and shopped, and ate, and talked, and cried, and hugged and it was perfect even when I wasn't.

And though I wish I could have been 100% back to me while I was there...

I'm almost glad I wasn't.

Because it made me realize that I don't have to be perfect to be loved.

My sisters & my aunt(s)....they are the only family I have....and this was the trip that really made me realize that even though I may not have parents, I still have family.

Family that loves, and cares, and allows any one of us to be exactly who we are at any moment in time.

I have so much to be thankful for.

And it was that thought, that kept us all alive on the 2 day, 22 hour drive back home.

That....

and medication.

What did you learn over the Thanksgiving Break/Holiday?

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

it's what i wore out: when in texas....

I'm in Texas visiting family for the week.

So posting is just not on the list of priorities.

But, shopping is.

They always say, when in Texas....

I know....you want more.... 

And believe it or not, I have more you lucky ducks!!!

But you'll just have to wait for those next week.

Now you have something to look forward to! 

Hope you guys all have an amazing Thanksgiving full of blessings.

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

it's what i wore out: sweet n sassy

what i'm wearing: lulus.com maxi dress, ring: plato's closet, apple bottom jeans leather jacket: plato's closet, gold beaded necklace: thrifted, jeffery campbell shoes: plato's closet, nail polish: sally hansen slick slate

~~~~~~~

I am SO into these dresses, can you tell?
And that jacket...
I seem to see how many ways in a week I can wear it....I just love it that much.

What are you obsessed with now that it's fall?
Or what seems to be your go to look now that it's cooling down?

By the way.
It's the weekend...
And I'm starting to feel better!!!!

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

it's what i wore out: black on black

{could not edit out that dang red eye for the life of picnik.  grrr}

what i'm wearing: vintage dress: thrift store, f21 leggings & boots, apple bottoms leather jacket: thrift store, world market necklace, socks: tj maxx

*******

Last weekend the kids went and spent a night with their Nana & Papa, and I had a full 24 hours to rest and unwind with my man.
With all that I've been dealing with these last few weeks, it was a much needed break.
Then when Jimmy mentioned a trip to TJ Maxx and Target, I immediately perked up and decided it was time to put some makeup on and get dressed.
And wouldn't you know, once I was shopping, I started feeling SO much better.
Weird.
{plus, i found an amazing black cape for HALF off at TJ Maxx, i just about died.  and they have more. go now.  thank me with gifts later.}

Slowly but surely, I'm getting better.
It's a process, and some days are tougher than others....
but it's good to know that prayer combined with friends, family, and shopping are all I need to start feeling a smidgen better.

And to you guys, my incredible friends and readers, thank you for your support and prayers.
With each comment, each tweet or text, I am encouraged and uplifted.
You ARE so totally helping....and I am truly blessed.

God IS my strength and my shield, and He is building me up for something...
I just gotta finish being refined.

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

be at peace, put aside anxious thoughts

Last week in the midst of my tough moments, I saw this prayer (see below for the prayer) on my friend Misty's instagram, and it gave me chills.  

Good chills.

Hope chills may be more like it.

I immediately googled the words to find the entire passage and then wrote it on a slip of paper and put it in my purse.  I can't tell you how many times I have read that paper.

I then wrote a portion of it on the mirror in my bathroom where I get ready every day....it was something I needed to read and be reminded of.

Often. 

Today when I got out of the shower I couldn't help but notice it again, only this time it took on a whole new meaning.

The mirror was foggy and "crying" just as I have been over these last few weeks.

But there the words remained, true as ever, even through the fog and tears.

We may not feel Him when we hurt.

We may not believe the truth behind the words, but we must say them anyway...simply out of trust and faith.

Though we may be foggy and hurt and sad and confused, still His truth remains.

He is and always will be our strength and our shield.

And when the fog clears, and the tears are dry and gone....

The words will remain and our faith will be deeper.

We will be stronger.

We will have survived.

~~~~~~~

Prayer for Unfailing Strength

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow, the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day.

Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace then.

Put aside anxious thoughts and imaginations and say continually, 

"The Lord is my strength and my shield.  My heart has trusted in Him and I am helped.  He is not only with me, but in me, and I in Him."

{scripture to back that up}

Matthew 6:25-34

Psalm 28:7

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

my must have beauty products and more!

Just a few videos from last week on the SheKnows.com Mommalogues!

What are your must have beauty products?

The great thing about beauty products is that they do exactly what they say.  Make you beautiful. And?  They don’t whine.  Or talk back.  Or refuse to go to the bathroom at school causing parent/teach conferences twice a week. So, needless to say, I adore beauty products.  And because I am constantly trying out new stuff, I have found a few amazing products that have been tried and tested and have most definitely made the must have list.  Check out the ones I die for.  Then go buy them.  For me.

How healthy is your Thanksgiving meal?

There are two things about Thanksgiving that make it nearly impossible for me to be too opinionated here.  The first is, beggars can’t be choosers and since I don’t cook, I can’t really say what my preparer should do.  The second is, I don’t like Thanksgiving food.  I am a very picky eater (peanut butter & jelly, plain cheeseburgers,  and cheese pizza please), so healthy or not….I’m not too thrilled about the options Thanksgiving brings.  But, because I do attend Thanksgiving and someone is usually cooking it for me, here’s how I try to make it work.

What's been the greatest age or stage so far?

Isn’t it all amazing?  How can you even ask me to narrow it down to just one?!?  Okay, but really…with my kids, it’s not about an age or stage….but more about what is less annoying of the most annoying.  Or the less crazy making of all the crazy making.  Those are the kind of moments that I hold on to and cherish.  But through it all, I love them regardless.  No really, I do.  What?!?

And the others you may have missed...

How tech savvy are your kids?

How often do your kids see their grandparents?

Remember, every day (during the week) we have new topics, and don't be afraid to join the discussion by leaving comments on the site!!!

Hope you guys had a great weekend...

{i am definitely on the mend....and will be back much sooner than expected!  thanks for the love and prayers.  they are absolutely working.}

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

i'm just not me right now

I know in trying to grow my blog and it's readership, taking a break is not the way to go.

But sometimes, life happens, and a break is exactly what must happen along with it.

I am struggling with some stuff, and trying to get it all sorted out.  And hopefully, in just a couple weeks (who knows, maybe it'll just be a few days?!?) I'll be feeling back to me, back to being able to write and share and learn about it all.

But, for right now....I need to clear my schedule and breathe.  And lean on the Lord, and wait for him to speak into this situation.

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

its what i wore out: serving at the food bank

{gray jacket & sweats: thrifted, pink cardi: target, shoes: reebok easytones}

Sometimes, it's not about glamour or fashion, it's about comfort and warmth.

~~~~~~~

The other night a bunch of us leaders took the girls in our individual core groups to serve at the food bank.

My particular group of girls are in the 9th & 10th grade, and even at that young age they were willing to give up a night of studying to come and stuff boxes with food for people they would never meet.

And what really amazed me, was their crazy work ethic, open hearts, and amazing attitudes about it all.

They were laughing, sharing, having fun, and making memories all the while they worked like rock stars.

{we finished a 3 hour job in 2 hours.  that's kind of how amazing they were. just sayin.}

I've always had a heart to work with the youth.  

My years in high school were some of the most confusing and scary times of my life.

{until after I had kids....but that's a whole 'nother therapy session right there.}

And after losing my virginity by rape at a party in 9th grade, my whole life turned around.

And not so much for the good.

I felt God had left me.

Or maybe I was too angry with Him to feel His presence.

Either way, I decided my way was better....and that led to so much heartache and drama.

I always wished I could have had someone in my life to encourage me.

To support me.

To accept me.

To give truth to the lies I had convinced myself of believing.

And so, here I am.

Working with the youth.

Hoping that God will use me.

I pray every day that the time I get to spend with my girls changes them.

I pray that I can love them the way they deserve to be loved.

That I can listen to them, without judgement, the way they deserve to be heard.

I pray that I can be all the things to them that I so needed in my teen years when I was lost and hurting.

And in the meantime, I pray we have many more nights crammed in my car singing the Glee Soundtrack at the top of our lungs.

Because I think that right there, are the true moments of freedom.

Laughter and singing.

Glee.

When I am with them....no matter what we are doing....it's like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

{and this is just half of my girls.  my beautiful amazing and loving girls.}

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

an ad for prozac a.ka. birth control

I've been known to video tape my kids when they throw a tantrum.

Mostly because when things are calm again and they see the video, they realize just how silly it all was.

Until the next tantrum, when they seemingly have forgotten.

And every time I video tape them, I think.....now this could be birth control for anyone not quite ready to have kids.

Or... it could be an ad for Prozac.

{"do you feel like this every day?  then maybe you need prozac!"}

Either way....this was my day yesterday.

I wonder where she learned it from....

Ahhhh, the glamorous life of a stay at home mom.

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

my tattoos, tracy anderson love, and other stuff

Once again, here are just a few of my faves from last week on the Mommalogues.  

Do you have tattoo's or piercings and will you let your kids get them?

Being that both Jimmy and I have tattoos (and I have my nose pierced), we certainly have no room to tell our kids that they aren’t allowed.  I mean, we absolutely can while they live under our roof, but once they leave the nest….they’re on their own.  They do know, because we’ve had those conversations already, that I have strict guidelines on the whole issue.  Here’s the top 3 rules I believe they, and myself, need to take into consideration before making anything permanent.

What's your fitness routine?

If you know me at all, read my blog, or have even heard me breathe….you know all about my fitness routine.  I have, mmmm, maybe what you’d call a slight obsession.  I don’t necessarily love to workout, but my mood absolutely needs that lift several times a week.  Luckily, I found the sweetest and most amazing trainer in the whole world that definitely keeps me on the ball and never bored.  Now if only I could find someone to come and cook all my meals, I would totally be able to look like her too.

Do you expect your kids to go to college?

The other night we found Taylor in his bed crying.  When we asked what was wrong, he sobbed, “I really want to study to be an engineer in college, but basketball is getting in the way!”  Um?!?  Really?!?  He’s 6.  (and he doesn’t play basketball…yet) So, I would guess with that scenario he most definitely has plans to go to college.  Here’s how Jimmy and I view the whole issue on college.

Other topics we covered:

What childhood thanksgiving tradition do you share with your kids?

What kinds of classes or activities do your kids love?

Remember, we have new topics we cover each day (Mon-Fri), so be sure to check them out!

And if you've been following along, I'd love to hear what you guys think so far!!!

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

shutterfly winners!

Here are the the THREE winners for the Shutterfly 25 free photo holiday cards:

The Smith Family

Janelle ~ Rellas Bellas

Gigis Ramblings

Make sure to email me ASAP and I'll get you all your codes!

Thanks for entering!!!

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

the holy grail natural deodorant that works

Seriously, this product is AMAZEBALLS.  You have to try it out.

Oyin Funk Butter

Music in video: Helen Austin

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

my letter to my kids about anxiety....

My sweet Taylor and Chloe....

Before I explain things to you, know that I love you.  Beyond words.  I love you that much.  And it is because I love you both that I need you to know that I am not perfect.  And sometimes my imperfections may hurt you.  Sometimes you'll think that what I struggle with has something to do with you, and you'll wish things were different.  And trust me.  So do I.  

So do I.

Every single one of us in this world has a struggle.  We all have something that we have to continually work and fight against.  And mine?  Happens to be longer than I'd like moments of anxiety and sadness. It comes without warning, and goes just the same.  And it's not because I don't love God enough, because I do.  I love him and have given him my whole heart and soul.  It's just my struggle.  For now.  My cross to bear.

But what I need you to know is that I am a fighter.  I may cry and I may freeze up from time to time, but I do not and I will not lay down and let this take me over.  I have the power of God that lives in me, and daily I take up my cross and I call upon Him to show up when I am feeling so weak.  I know that in these hard times of my life, God speaks the loudest.  His hugs show up daily in many different ways.  And I cling to that each and every moment.  

That is what I hope you take from this time of our life.  Though we will have our struggles, there is a healthy way to deal with it.  I can't be perfect for you.  But I hope I can at least teach you that.

Know this.  Sadness, depression, anxiety or the like....is not wrong.  It is not wrong nor is it our fault that we feel these things.  But we need to remember that it cannot HAVE US.  And it is mostly because of you two and daddy, that I have found it in me to fight.  I will do whatever it is I have to do to be the best mom and wife I can be.  I will fight this battle with all that God has given me so that I am able to come out of it the strong person he intended me to be and live the life He would be proud of.

But, right now....I am still struggling.  Still fighting.  And still, perhaps, not entirely the best mom and wife I dreamed I would be.  I get sad.  I get anxiety.  I feel broken and scared.  I am so incredibly human.  

My struggles?  Are mine.  And for whatever reason, God is allowing it in my life at this time.  He has a reason.  There IS a purpose.  We don't see it.  I know I don't, but I trust in Him.
And you have to know and BELIEVE that they have NOTHING to do with you....or my love for you.  When I need to go in my room to find a peaceful moment, it's not because I don't love you.  

When I tend to be short tempered, it's not because you are or have done anything wrong.  

When I have tears in my eyes, it's because I am hurting.  But not because of anything you did or anything you are.

This is just me....living and learning, and taking each moment as it comes.  Accepting the challenge God's placed before me and proving myself faithful.

I love you forever.  Regardless.  You are my everything.  My reason to fight.  My reason to be open and honest.  

My greatest fear is that you'll think I'm weak.  

Or that I wasn't present enough or that there was something wrong with your mom.  

Instead I hope that you'll know it was me fighting a fight.  

That your mom is tough.  And honest.  And real.

And that I believe in the power of God.

His power is within me.

And he PROMISES to bring Beauty from Pain.

I hope one day when you're older and you can read this letter, you will understand me better and understand this time of our life.

I love you.

Beyond.

Matthew 11:28

New International Version (NIV)

   ²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

channeling rachel zoe...and joe dirt

About ten minutes before walking out the door to take the kids to a Halloween/Trick or Treating Party....I got an idea as I was applying my red lipstick.

I should TOTALLY dress up like Rachel Zoe.  You know if, um, Rachel Zoe was to gain about 20-30 pounds.

And got bangs.

Here's what I came up with...and because I couldn't decide between the vintage fur and the cropped leather jacket, I took a picture with both.

But, I ended up sticking with the fur.

I mean.

Fur is so may.jah.

Especially vintage.

And yes, I did stay in character MOST of the night. 

So beyond.

Just sayin'.

{vintage wide leg jeans, sequins, cropped leather jacket, vintage rabbit fur, marc jacobs (ish) bag, black wedges, vintage jewelry}

Jimmy told me that I actually didn't look any different than I normally do.
Um, thanks?
I gotta hand it to Rachel, wearing all that jewelry?
Totally burns calories.  I can see now why she's so thin.

And then as I was digging in my closet, I found a mullet and wa la....Joe Dirt was created.

As you can see, my little bumblebee and batman were all smiles:

That improved when we were about to go trick or treating.

Hope you guys all had a fun and SAFE Halloween.

pssss....
Go enter my Shutterfly Photo Holiday Gift Card Giveaway, there will be THREE winners, and at this point....you have a good chance of winning.

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"