Le Musings of Moi

monday muse: home edition

2012-01-30T00:00:00.000-08:00

For those of you new to Monday Muse, I have created this day special for you.
I want this to be a platform where you get to inspire us.
Whether it's through your fashion style,
your home style,
your DIY's,
your ways to save,
your own personal testimony,
or how you overcame a particular challenge in your life....
I want this to become a place and day where lives will be touched and changed and we will each be INSPIRED because of you.

So.
With that said......
Here is my sweet incredible friend, Jennifer.
{who will be back another day with another amazing story!}

~~~~~~~

Hi everyone! I'm Jennifer from The Wayman Family Nest. I'm excited to share our home tour with you today.

Thanks for having me Summer!

Although it sounds cliche, I would describe our style as eclectic. Our home is a mixture of modern, shabby chic, and traditional elements. Our house is filled with photographs and items that are meaningful to us. We love finding "gems" from Goodwill and repurposing them into something that we're proud of. Although it's a work in progress, it meets my goal of being both welcoming and functional!

Living Room

This is the room we spend the majority of our time. For a smaller home, our living room is actually a pretty good size. Since it's the first room you see when you walk in, I wanted the room to feel open and inviting. I'd love a lighter colored couch one day, but this one gets the job done for now!

Kitchen

The kitchen was one of the first rooms (along with the master bathroom) we remodeled when we first moved in. Since it's a galley kitchen, I knew that I wanted to do white cabinets to keep it feeling light and airy. My favorite part of this room would have to be the tile backsplash. We went without a backsplash for about 3 1/2 years, so I was over the moon last summer when I found something I loved! Read more about that here.

Dining Room

We went through SEVERAL shades of green when trying to determine what color to paint our dining area. Why are greens so hard to pick?! The table is an original formica table from the 40s from the hubby's grandparents. It's in such great shape and I love the retro vibe it gives the space! The floating shelves were a project we tackled last summer. Read more about that here and here.

Master Bathroom

The bathroom was room in the most dire need of help when we moved in our home. There were AT LEAST 4 different shades of pink going on in there. YIKES! You have to check out the "before" pictures on our blog to fully appreciate how far we've come!

Master Bedroom

This room definitely needs a little TLC. Things I'm happy with: the drapes, the Anthropologie accent table, and the lamps. The rest of it could use a littlle lovin'. We bought the 2 dressers and end tables from West Elm when we got married. Even though I'm already itching to do something a little lighter (the room is so darn dark!), the hubby wouldn't be too happy with me if I were to pull a switcheroo. So, for now, a little artwork would go a long way in this space. We have absolutely NOTHING on the walls! I guess I'm just waiting for something to literally jump out at me!

Office

This is not really a functional working office, but more of an organized space. I do love the shelving with my little organized labeled IKEA boxes. A new desk and chair are definitely in order, but this gets the job done for now!

Hallway

Ahhh, I saved my favorite room in the house for last! What?! The hallway can't be your favorite room, you say??? Well I beg to differ. Check out the stripe project the hubby graciously took on for me here and here. I just look at my beautiful stripes and smile! Definitely a labor of love!

Well, there you have our little home tour! I left out 2 rooms that we have plans for once we get the nursery going, so check back on our blog for updates! Right now they're just a huge mess. A big thank you to the wonderful Summer for having me on her FABULOUS blog today!

~~~~~~~

If you have something to share and want to be a part of Monday Muse, click this link for more details!

a new shopping twist....ooooooh snap!

2012-01-27T00:00:00.000-08:00

As some of you bright young things may have noticed, I've been using Fridays as my day to catch you up on ALL the HI-larious and quite entertaining SheKnows Mommalogues.

You guys.

This here gig I have?

Besides my blog....and you (duh)....oh ya and my family and my faith.....

this Mommalogue thing, it's kind of my calling.

If you haven't noticed, I quite love being in front of the camera.

I don't know why.

I think I'm the BIGGEST dork.

And I analyze EVERY pore, misplaced bang, and weird eye roll that I do....but I just love it SO.

And I need you guys to love it too.

Because if I haven't made it clear yet, there isn't enough therapy in the world, that could keep me from needing your approval.

{again, only being slightly dramatic.}

Another thing?

Because a lot of you have been asking about headbands and clothes and things in the background that you see, I'm going to start posting here on Fridays all the deets about what is going on with, on, and around me.

So at the very least, if you don't find me entertaining, you can at least see if I have anything you might want to shop for....

Right?

Listen, I am just trying to please EVERYONE.

It's the way God made me.

And why I am paying for expensive therapy.

{you think that's a joke, but it isn't. see? nothing but the truth from me!}

And now we begin....with what you MAY have missed on the SheKnows Mommalogues.

And, all the links and details about what I'm wearing.

~~~~~~~

Will I have more children?

{click title to see video, because it wouldn't embed, but it was my fave video of the week.}

Lately I’ve become, well….slightly obsessed with The Duggars of 19 kids and counting. I just adore them. I love Michelles curly bangs, and Jim Bob’s two names, I love their love for Jesus, and I die for each and every one of their kids. Especially the “J” names ones to be exact. And since this obsession has come along, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that sometimes for a brief moment while I watch their show or read their books that I didn’t consider having just a few or 17 more. But then the show ends, and Taylor is writhing on the floor again because he’s “hurt” and Chloe’s crying because I won’t watch her pee, and I’m reminded of my reality. Also? I don’t curl my bangs, and Jimmy is just Jim. So maybe we don’t have what it takes after all.

what i'm wearing:

amazing ribbon headband with fabric flowers from Charlotte Russe

~~~~~~~

What was I like in High School?

I took to Facebook for this one. I mean, what is Facebook for if not to reconnect with each and every person who ever attended your elementary, junior high and high school, am I right?!? And they didn’t disappoint either. There were a few stories I’m pretty sure I’m unable to share here on a family kind of show, but the good news is that after all those stories….I think I turned out somewhat okay. But back then??? I guess the best way to put it, is…I was fun? Let me try to explain more.

what i'm wearing:

leopard blouse: vintage & thrifted seen here

necklace: jennifer zeuner

gold necklace: thrifted

~~~~~~~

How do I keep my kids healthy in the winter months?

When it comes to keeping my kids healthy, I believe in keeping them indoors and far far away from other children and/or people for as long as I can. Actually, no, that would actually quite possibly make me unhealthy in a mental way. So. Plan B. I rely on vitamins and supplements and lots and lots of juicing and sneaking healthy things into their food. Here are just a few of the tricks I have, but even so….my kids still get sick sometimes. I’ve learned it’s just a part of life, and it’s really not the end of the world.

what i'm wearing:

zebra print top & black hoodie: tj maxx

background deets:

bed: ikea (so badly want a new one.)

duvet cover: west elm

xo pillowcase: etsy

curtains: handmade with love by my bff, Mari

what i mention:

boku superfood {she gets two cups a day with: 1/2 scoop Boku mixed with half a bag of Instant Carnation Breakfast}

probiotics: my kids take Florabear

vitamins: we are currently trying the Rainbow ones, they like them okay. might try melaleuca next.

~~~~~~~

Where is the craziest place I've changed a diaper:

I’m just wondering….is this something that happens to people often? Like, are people seeking out crazy places to change diapers? Because I am just at a loss. Maybe we’re just boring bathroom going people, but I can’t really think of anyplace too insane.. Actually, when I asked my husband he had a few suggestions that he thought were inappropriate, but I beg to disagree. See what you think.

what i'm wearing:

fabric flower black top: tj maxx

~~~~~~~

Do my kids have security blankets or special attachments?
When I was little I never had any attachments to blankies or stuffed animals. Instead I sucked my thumb. Way gross. And I was always may-jah jealous of my friends that had ragged stuffed animals or torn and well loved blankies. So much so, that as an adult I was determined to make sure my kids had something they found to be comforting, and not have it be their thumb. Thankfully God heard my prayers. I know some moms want to take away such items at a certain age, but I actually love it and encourage them to keep it with them as long as they want. Maybe even until their adults? What? I don’t see anything wrong with an adult still sleeping with a teddy bear okay? Oh wait…we are talking about my kids. Here they are to show you the things they love and adore and what they absolutely cannotsleep without. (and trust me, I’ve driven to far away places to pick these items when they’ve been left behind.)

~~~~~~~

{if I missed linking to anything, let me know in the comments, and I'll add them!}

Hope you guys have a GREAT WEEKEND!

I have spent the first two days of my vacation with the worst cold/flu, but I'm sure tomorrow is my day.

And I can't wait to leave the bed (kind of) and see a little bit of Colorado!!!

{i mean thrift stores of course.}

Although.
It has been quite nice, besides the body aches, having a chance to lay around in cozies and having NOTHING to do because I CAN'T and I DON'T HAVE TO.

Also?
I didn't yell once today.
AND?
I never felt irritated.

So being sick without kids?
Not so bad.

{except for you guys that don't have kids, for YOU, it's totally bad. ALMOST as bad as the Man Cold.}

Okay.
Happy Weekending.

what i wore out: pleather ~ pleats & leather

2012-01-26T00:00:00.000-08:00

what i'm wearing:
top: walmart! i keep telling you guys, i'm classy. a TOTAL name brand snob.
jacket: apple bottom jeans, platos closet
skirt: thrifted & vintage...the tag says greenstyle, and of course i fell madly deeply in love because a) it was long, duggar style and b) it has pleats, old lady style.
headband: h&m, to keep some kind of style street cred.
shoes: steve madden, tj maxx
hair: pulled into a messy pony and tucked into the headband to look like a short pony

~~~~~~~

My sister (with whom i am soon debuting an amazeball blog with) turned me onto this YouTube channel.
I'm slightly addicted.
Obsessed.
Whatever.

This one made me totally laugh...
It is SO me.
And goes quite well with my "what i wore out" posts.
"Cause I'm a Model."

I think I may have found my long lost best friend.

when you get this, i'll already be gone

2012-01-25T00:00:00.000-08:00

{me last night....i totally looked like her too.}

Today, I'm leaving on jet plane to....

Colorado.

Alone.

Alllllll alone.
{imagine me singing, "all by myself...just wanna be...all by myself...." with jazz hands.}

No kids.

No husband.

For 7 blissful days.

I even bribed one of my sisters to meet me, and we'll be lounging snow side with our aunt who lives there.

There will be a ton of sleeping, a whole lot of thrift store shopping, a little pinteresting (or is it pinning?) and I also plan to visit their gym (or is it a spa?) every single day.
Ish.
Also, I plan to lose the 10+ pounds of winter weight I've put on, simply by being close to a gym.
Or spa.
Whatever.

Then again if the working out doesn't happen, and the ten pounds remain, there will always these pants....

{which, btw, Jolt totally makes a NON MATERNITY version of, and I adore and wear so don't judge.}

And also?
I get to meet Angela.
My sweet friend who I feel like I know, but have never met, but have absolutely worn the Vintage DVF trench she found at a thrift store and sent to me.
{is there a better friend than that?!?}
And?
She goes to my aunt's church.

It was meant to be.

I'll still be writing while I'm there, because what better time than to be real and honest and funny while RELAXING???

I am SO FUNNY and TOTALLY FUN when I'm relaxed.

Trust.

Just.

Trust.

Did I already point out...

That I'll be WITHOUT KIDS????

I may never get another 7 days in a row until they leave the nest.
{they will leave one day, right????}

So, girl time, here I come.

And by girl time, I mean....

sleep.

zzzzzzzz

{p.s. i have to give you all a heartfelt "thank you!" and an uncomfortably long hug for all the encouraging emails and comments you guys left on my blog thesis and what you can expect. i felt like we had a moment, you and i. wait, there it was again. did you feel it too? xoxo love you. seriously.}

the 2nd most important post of mine, a must read

2012-01-24T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've been on this mission.
A blog soul revamp if you will.

Okay, so you know how Oprah every few seasons would change something about her show?
Her theme song...
caring about weight, not caring about weight....
her hairstyles....{the tina turner wig was a few seasons if i remember right}
her favorite actor of the year that would be on every other month sharing their life lessons...

Whatever it was, Oprah knew that sometimes, change was necessary and change was good.

Now.
I'm no Oprah.
Nor do I worship her the way some do.
Although, after she apologized to James Frey, I did make my peace enough to possibly allow a friendship.

But.

I've been feeling this deep desire in my heart that God was calling me to make a change with my blog, or at the very least, a change in my heart towards my blog.

At first I wondered if it was to end my blog, because I like to be dramatic and drastic like that. And for awhile I considered that in prayer or by constantly asking Jimmy if I should "just quit the blog already."

I didn't actually get an audible answer, (either from God or Jimmy), but I never quite got the feeling that quitting right now was the right path to take.

Feelings aren't always reliable, especially mine Jimmy says, but I'm going to go with this one.

And so one day I put out into the universe (Twitter) just how amazing it would be to have a bloggy mentor help me discover the soul and purpose of my blog.

And yes, I do know my blog doesn't have an actual SOUL.

Moving on....

And then one amazing godly lady responded, (thank you ~~universe,~~ ~~twitter~~, GOD)....and we spent the next few days emailing back and forth.

And then she wrote this:
"My question is this: who are you writing to and what do they need? (One sentence). To grow your blog, you have to fill that need. Once you answer that question, the answer goes on your "About" page, and it lives in between the lines in every single post you write. The more clear it is who you are writing to and what you offer them, the more they'll come and bring friends because you're the blogger who writes about (fill in the blank)."

I mean, WOAH!

Since we're on the Oprah topic, can I just say that I may have had an "AHA moment?!?"
{and now that i've used that term, i will try never to again.}

I then spent the next few days obsessing, or rather PRAYING (what we christians sometimes call obsessing so as to appear "better christians") that my dear Jesus would show me exactly what that one sentence, that ONE need was, that He had me begin and CONTINUE this blog for.

One word I kept coming to, because I CLEARLY have issues, is "imperfection...and um, issues."

Well now.
We can't very well have an entire blog where I am constantly sharing my imperfections and issues, now can we?
I'm pretty sure that doesn't invite friends to invite friends.

But, the more I pondered (that's what us writers do, we ponder, it's quite a technical practice really), I realized where I was to go with that.

And then I sat down and wrote, for lack of a better word....
My Blog Thesis.

My "About Moi."
My official "Welcome to Le Musings of Moi."

And rightly so....I've decided to link it to the "About Moi" title under my header.

Written there you will find my heart.
My passion.
And my promise to you on what you can and will always find here at Le Musings of Moi,
no matter what kind of post I'm writing or sharing.
It may very well be the MOST IMPORTANT post you may ever read on this blog yet.
{and I say that very UN-dramatically.}

I hope you'll click and read.
I hope you'll understand me that much better.
I hope you'll feel less alone.
Or less weird.
Or more normal.

{or whatever it is you need to feel today}....

And I hope mostly you'll come back and be or, continue to be, a part of this.

Because as much as it's been a hard lesson to learn, and despite what I believed in my teens and 20's....
This really ISN'T all about me.

And it isn't about a ton of followers or comments or stats or numbers, it's about joining together to make it through this life.

We need each other.

And I have realized, I most definitely need you.

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

a new monday muse: where YOU inspire us

2012-01-23T00:00:00.000-08:00

Today we have Martin, who offered to spend some time on my blog reading my posts, watching my videos, and reading the comments of those who take the time.

And when he was done, he wrote a poem.

A poem that captured my heart and I hope the hearts of many of you who are in the same place of life as I am.

No Need For……

You’re a wonderful mom,

there’s no need for guilt.

A beautiful family,

with hubby you built.

Raising your kids,

you’re doing just fine.

Their happy faces,

is a very clear sign.

Sometimes you feel,

you’re not doing enough.

On yourself,

don’t be so tough.

Making a difference in your lifetime,

no need to be afraid.

Just look in their eyes,

and the impact you’ve made.

Worried about their health,

and their education.

Please trust yourself,

no need for frustration.

Your life and your family,

is special and sweet.

With the Duggars or Joneses,

there’s no need to compete.

At night when you wake,

your sleeping children inspire.

They love you so dearly,

they truly admire.

God bless you and your family Summer,

Martin

www.anitapoems.com

~~~~~~~

Do you have something to share on Monday Muse?
Click here for more details!

take your farts outside, please...and other stuff

2012-01-20T00:00:00.000-08:00

This week on the Mommalogues, I brought Jimmy in on one of the videos.

I don't know why, but the ones he's in, are by FAR my favorite.

Needless to say, you have to watch this first one....

{and then all the rest too of course!}

What do your kids or husband do that drives you crazy?

I had to take the camera to Jimmy on this one, because I wanted to know if he actually has been paying attention to what I’ve been saying drives me bah-na-na’s over these last 9 years. Turns out, he has. He just hasn’t had the chance to do anything to make things different….yet. But, men are slow. And I am learning patience….

I have to say, in addition to the things he mentions, I must also make it clear that Whining and Sassy Pants Attitudes (when it’s not belonging to me) as well as being late but not calling also kind of drives me crazy. Other than allll that? I’m really just a laid back mom/chick/wife, and it really takes a lot to get my panties in a bunch.

~~~~~~~

What are your favorite family winter activities?

You know, down here in Southern California it gets pretty cold during the winter months, so the things we can do are really limited. Like, if we go to the beach, we have to wear hoodies with our flip flops. Ot, at night when it dips into the 60’s we tend to snuggle up to a fire with a warm blanket and cup of delicious hot chocolate. Sometimes even, drive to the snow and really enjoy a true “winter experience” before we head back home for a dip in the pool. So, like I said, winter activities here……definitely a lot different than the rest of the year.

~~~~~~~

What would you do with $1000 dollars?

You know as I started thinking about this, I realized $1000 really could go really quick. But because I am my fathers daughter, and being thrifty is my middle name, I am determined to make this imaginary $1000 dollar spending spree go as far as possible. And because we are in make believe land, I am going to make the most of it, and spend it alone. Which means, part of that dough has to go to a babysitter. Let’s see how the math works out.

~~~~~~~

And the others you may have missed but need to see:

What is your absolute most favorite meal?

Because I don’t (can’t) cook, when I think of favorite meals, I automatically think of food I can order out. For this video I went to my son, Taylor, who knows just what it is I like the best when it comes to eating. Mostly because I’ve, oops, kind of trained him to like the same things. But, what he doesn’t know is that there are recipes and real food that I like too. Like chicken and dumplings, which is all kinds of amazing but I can’t cook it and nobody ever offers to make it for me. And so because that is a rare occurrence, we’ll just go with what Taylor has to say. He does know me best.

~~~~~~~

If you had a do-over, what would it be?

I know the cliché answer to this is to say, “I wouldn’t change a thing about my past because it brought me to where I am today, content and happy and in love.” But, by now you should probably know that I don’t always say the “right” or “acceptable” thing. Because in fact, there is quite a lot I wish I could do over. Like certain ex boyfriends. Bad fashion trends. (a perm, really?!?) Moving to Idaho?!? But more than all that, I think there is one thing that I really wish I could go back and do over. The good news is….get ready for an Oprah moment in one second….that it’s NEVER to late to make a change. Go ahead…write that down, and then come back and watch this video.

~~~~~~~

Starting next month we are changing things up slightly at the SheKnows Mommalogues....
So, stay tuned, and don't forget to check back each day for new topics and discussion!!!

Have a GREAT weekend guys!
xoxo

small style

2012-01-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

I love that Chloe has such a joy and hope about her.
{her middle name just so happens to be Hope}
She runs and lives with such a happiness about her.

She finds pleasure in such simple things, and loves to ask:
"Are you happy?!?"
Because that's her desire...
to make people happy.

....and yet she is so much like her mom.
Slightly shy, slightly unsure, and timid to give her heart too quickly....
She takes her time warming up.
But the wait is so worth it.

Taylor is my tender hearted soul.
His mind and thoughts (and hurts and fears) run deep.
He's always thinking, always pondering.
His mind literally NEVER stops.
But underneath the spinning mind, is a heart that loves.
Deeply.
Passionately.
And he's not afraid to show it.
I love all of that about him.

{nothing more handsome than a boy with his bible}

Chloe loves the camera.
She loves picking out and shopping for and wearing clothes, shoes, makeup and jewelry.
She is my mini me.

Taylor wants nothing to do with the camera...and would rather be doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing.
Unless it's a competition, and then he's in it to win it.
He is a mini Jimmy.

But he inherited a part of me....
the part that wants to let go of the thoughts,
of the control,
and just smile.
The part that wants to be free.
To laugh.
and just jump on in.

We are all so different in this family, yet all so incredibly alike.
We get angry and frustrated and sad.

We let go, and laugh, and have fun.

And we try to stop taking ourselves so seriously all the freaking time and just let loose and be silly.

These are my babies.
My mini me.
My mini Jimmy.

And I adore them with all my heart and soul.
They ARE my heart and soul.

What we're wearing:
my outfit: see yesterdays "it's what i wore out" post.

~Chloe~
Skirt: top, and socks: Target
Shoes: Converse (chuck taylors) from Marshalls $10
Jacket: Hurley also from Marshalls

~Taylor~
Sweater: Hurley from TJ Maxx
Jeans: Old Navy
Shoes: DC from Ross

{linking up with my sweet friend Morgan, you must check out her small style linkup!}

its what i wore out: it's black, it's white, ya ya ya

2012-01-18T00:00:00.000-08:00

what i'm wearing:
~dress: I found this at a thrift store in Texas and woah'd the moment I saw it. $4. Jessica Howard brand. It's so mod, right? The tag looks vintage, but I'm not sure Jessica Howard even HAS vintage.
Either way, I love it.
Actually, all of my favorite pieces I own in my closet are from a thrift store.
Everything is so fun and unique and has such a mysterious story to tell.
ahhhh....it's making me smile just thinking about it.
~leggings: forever 21
~boots: vintage f21 {meaning they are over 2 years old. lol}
~sunnies & ring: also f21, also vintage
~feather earrings: I found these at a cute little boutique in Texas when I was visiting my sister and they were in the clearance section. I think I scored them for maybe $4. LOVE!
~bracelet: my "mom" bracelet, a tiffany & co. knockoff that Taylor bought me for Christmas from his school store.
I may just treasure it more than anything real from Tiffany's that I own at the moment.
{sorry Jimmy.}

btw, this combo: dress/tunic with leggings and boots?
Yes, I am aware it's my winter staple outfit.
It's warm and comfy, AND it hides my winter fat.
{or at least it tries.}

~~~~~~~

These pictures were taken after church on Sunday, and I was super excited because I LOVE/have a slight fascination with this retaining wall.
{not nearly as much as Jimmy does though.}
Did you know that this wall is the largest retaining wall in all of something?
Or maybe it was that it's the longest continuous wall of that kind in the U.S.?

Well, it's something MAY-JAH like that at least.

And that's just the word on the street (another way to say i heard from a friend who heard from a friend, a.k.a. gossip), but I haven't fact checked it yet.

Either way, it's kind of a cool backdrop, no?

{and just for the record, for those of you asking, I DO sometimes smile showing my teeth! see above! aren't you so proud?!?}

hair decisions: back to blonde or stay ombre?

2012-01-17T00:00:00.000-08:00

In just a couple weeks I have a life changing decision to make.

Do I stay with the ombre I have going on?

or....do I go back to my blonde roots?
{which give me roots way more often....the only drawback. sigh.}

I canNOT decide on this for the life of me.

On one side, I love that I can go longer between salon visits (which saves me $) because my roots aren't so severe.
On the other side, I feel like having blonde next to my face makes me happier and lighter and like a real life blonde.
BUT....the roots show faster which makes appointments closer together.

You just can't have it all, can you?
Or maybe some of you can, but that's just not my real life.

So all you people who read and don't comment, now's not the time to be shy.
I need your help.
Ombre for another few months, or go back to blonde now?

Ready....
Set....
Be opinionated.
{but kind}

{fashion post to these pictures to come tomorrow.}

a NEW monday muse: featuring you

2012-01-16T17:37:00.000-08:00

A long while back when I had time to do more fashion pictures (or rather, when I had the gusto/energy to dress up cute and put makeup on more often), I used to call those posts Monday Muse Fashion Post.

But, now that I can barely get ONE fashion post up a week (now called: it's what i wore out)....I decided to use the title "Monday Muse" for something EVEN better.

Monday Muse will now be the opportunity for YOU to become our inspiration.

Over my years of blogging and writing, my life and my world has changed.
For the better.
And it's because of you.

In times where I felt alone, misunderstood, or simply that nobody could possibly be experiencing life the way I was, there was YOU.
In an email, a comment, or your own incredible blog post....you shared your life, and in that I became a part of it.
I received a love and acceptance and a hope that I didn't have before.

We are all so different.
Going through, dealing with, loving things, experiencing life and hobbies that not everybody is.
But at some point in time, in some place in this world, someone gets it.
And that someone needs to hear what YOU have to say.
Because it could very well be YOUR story that inspires them.
That gives them hope.
That changes their life.

Our church has a motto that I love, "Changing lives one story at a time."

It speaks to me.

But more than that, I want it to speak to you.

I want to use this platform of Monday Muse to use stories that can change lives in many different ways.

So, whether it's through your fashion style, your home style, your DIY's, your ways to save, or your own personal testimony and story....I want this to become a place and day where lives will be touched and changed and we will each be INSPIRED because of you.

I'd love for you to become a part of these Monday's.
Whether you blog or you don't,
or you like to write or you don't....
if you have something to share, let this be the place you begin to make a change.

For more details, email me at summer at lemusingsofmoi dot com.

{psss...if anyone is able to make an awesome graphic/button for me for this, let me know!}

just call us the duggars

2012-01-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have a confession to make.

I love and adore 19 kids and counting, and the Duggars are my hero's.

In fact, I ~~make~~ encourage my kids and husband to watch the show with me as well.

I've also read both books.
Both times in about two days.

Sometimes?

I take notes.

WAIT! Don't go!!!

It's not like I'm about to start wearing long skirts and....
although....
maxi skirts ARE kind of all the rage now.

Hmmmm.....

It's just that HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR CHILDREN???

They behave.

They nap until they're 5.

They are kind and helpful and they do chores and they play with EACH OTHER.

And the parents???

They don't yell.

Ever.

And they parent with intention.

And they are just so sweet and innocent and positive and calm (ish).

And I'm pretty sure there is no medication involved in that, although I can't be sure.

While I'm not sure I can homeschool or allow God to determine the number of kids I should have... (actually i think dear Jesus made things clear when having children gave me anxiety. can't get much more clear than that, i would say. thankyouverymuch.}.....
But, I do think there is a lot to be taken from the way they run their house.

For instance....

We've since started meeting at night before bed to have a quick time of family prayer and devotions.
{okay, so maybe 2 nights a week, but it's SOMETHING!}
Sometimes it's the first time all day we've sat down together, and even though the kids aren't used to being STILL and QUIET (the way the Duggar kids are), in time I'm sure they'll learn to love it.
Even if I have to give them melatonin an hour before.

Kidding.

I would never drug my children.
{unless it was legal and prescribed.}

My new motto?

WWTDD

What would the Duggars do?

I stop. And ponder, WWTDD. And then I procede.

My dream?

To take my kids for a weekend and live with the Duggars.

I want to see it all happen up close and personal.

I want my kids to soak in the wisdom and love they have in that house.

And then I want to leave my kids for another week or two while Jimmy and I come home to practice all that being still and quiet.

What do you guys think?
Have you seen 19 (20, 30) kids and counting?
Do you think I have what it takes?

Okay, don't answer that last question.

is accidental shopping considered shopping?

2012-01-13T11:01:00.000-08:00

How often do you go shopping, and do you have a budget?

Oh my. This is going to be tough to answer. Partly because my husband may be watching, and partly because I’m not sure how to define “shopping” and “budget.” I mean, those are some pretty loose terms. I go grocery shopping, and toiletry shopping….and vitamin shopping…and sometimes on accident, there happens to be other shopping involved at the same time. So honey (husband), maybe you shouldn’t see this one. It could get a little awkward.

~~~~~~~

What keeps you up at night?

I feel a slight relief that we are being asked this question, because it implies that other moms are being kept awake at night as well. Isn’t it sad that we’re always comforted upon hearing we aren’t alone in our troubles of being a mom? I guess it’s just how we unite. Anyway, what keeps me up (besides my actual kids. When does that end, by the way?) is a plethora of things. A list that goes on and on and on…..and it often involves me waking up Jimmy to talk it all out. At midnight. Good times.

~~~~~~~

Who do your kids prefer? Mommy or Daddy?
Oh this is easy. Me. I mean, really, who doesn’t prefer me?
I’m kidding. (stop with the WTF’s. It’s ajoke.) =)
I thought about asking the kids directly for this one, but I was too afraid of the answer….especially during PMS. I’m much too sensitive for what could be the truth.
Instead I’m going to attempt to answer for them using my powers of logic.
We’ll start with thinking about whom they prefer to interrupt on the phone….or who never gets to go to the bathroom alone….
Hmmmm…..

~~~~~~~

And others from this week:

How do you organize your home and family life for the New Year?

What's your guilty pleasure?

Make sure to check out the website each day for new topics, as well as there are so many FUN changes coming up, along with NEW Momma Bloggers you will LOVE.

Also, what do YOU want to hear us discuss in the upcoming webisodes?

We'd love to hear your suggestions!!!

By the way....
Did you know I'm on Twitter?
And Facebook?
And Instagram? (@lemusingsofmoi)
Oh!
And my latest obsession, Pinterest!
Find me, let's be friends EVERYWHERE!

Have a great weekend guys!!!
xoxo

im gonna teach you something cool

2012-01-12T09:42:00.000-08:00

This may be a repeat for some of you, but I wanted to link up with Mama Kat where I get to teach you something cool!

Now watch closely, and learn how to do an easy fishtail braid....it's SO cute!

{also watch and see how my husband tries to ruin my girls night out...sigh.}

irl friends vs online friends

2012-01-11T00:00:00.000-08:00

There's this thing about online friends vs. IRL (in real life) friends....and it kind of has this tone that your friends online aren't real.

But I beg to differ.

Where maybe once in our lifetimes it may have seemed weird to meet people online or cultivate friendships or relationships over the World Wide Web....I think these days it's become a lot more acceptable.

I've been realizing that not only do I love and adore my IRL friends....but that God has abundantly blessed me with my friendships that have come about because of this blog or online communities.
And those people?

Um, ya. They Are REAL.

They have the same real struggles we do.
They are living and breathing and doing everything they can to figure out what their life is all about.

And when I need a friend who gets me, what I'm going through...I have an incredible community.
In real life and online.
And I'd be lost without each and every one of them.

I love that the Interwebs (that's what we call it these days, right?) has brought us all closer together.
We feel less alone.
We are loved more.
Accepted often.
And we have a family and a support circle bigger than we could have ever dreamed.

So when I hear IRL friends vs. online friends, I don't really think there is a difference.

Because where would I be without Danielle and her random sweet texts (and birthday flowers!!!) in just the moments when she has no idea I need them?

{danielle and i at blogher. you know, IN REAL LIFE.}

How would I know Trina, who gets my tender (sensitive/emotional) heart because she was born the same, and together we can be in prayer for each other. Because we have both given our hearts and lives to Jesus. I adore her.
{pictures to come of us one day, when we finally meet!}

And then there's Ruthie (my long lost sister...we're still questioning our parents about a possible missing link.)
We can make each other laugh on days there is NO WAY we believed a smile was possible.
Possibly because when we talk, we're back to being 12.

And Morgan....oh how I love Morgan. We have similar hearts and desires and when we met on the dance floor at BlogHer 11, I knew she was meant for me.
In a non stalker way, of course.
I can't wait for the day we get to hang out again and get our groove on once again.

And then there's Kathy, my first blog friend, who understands my humor and well as the pain of losing an amazing parent...

{way way back years ago when we were such young innocent gals}

And Tonia who can make me laugh in seconds flat...

And Angela, who inspires me both spiritually and thrift store-ily.
(and I get to meet her at the end of this month! watch out thrift stores!!!)

And of course, there's Laceyloowhoo, who goes all the way back to the beginning of time (blog time) with me...and our emails could become books they are so juicy. We know each other. We get each other. We are both living and dealing with the same stuff.
{we will meet, ONE DAY. And then I will show those pictures too!!!}

And my sweet Lizzy. Who is my text therapy and dearest friend, and I love her even though I have yet to physically lay eyes on her. But we have plans, totally non creepy plans to meet up quite soon. haha

And most recently, Adneris Diaz, who shared her testimony with me after I had shared mine on the blog, and we bonded.
And I know that at any moment for any reason from this point on, we can connect for prayer and support.

And these amazing women?
Are only the beginning.
There are so many more, more of YOU, that have touched me and my life.

Trust me when I say these are real people.
My true and dear and treasured IN REAL LIFE friends.
We may have connected online, but they are forever a part of my heart and my story.

And I thank God every day for His hugs through them.

These chickas are just as dear to me and just as much a part of my life as anyone I know IRL.
Because we have lived life together, connecting through nothing but truth and honesty and complete vulnerability.

It is an incredible blessing.

One that should be embraced.

We are living in a new age, and I love it.

it's what i wore out: the happy days

2012-01-10T00:00:00.000-08:00

what i'm wearing:

~ vintage (thrifted) pleated skirt, which i wear often and love.

~vintage animal print top that i just found this weekend at a random thrift store by the beach. $4.
Yum, yum.

~wedge boots, um also thrifted a year or two back.

~the ring and chunky bracelet is from a boutique in texas

~gold necklace also thrifted

~monogram necklace is of course my favorite, Jennifer Zeuner.

Looking at these pictures makes me smile inside....

Because the day these pictures were taken was a good day.

We went to church (it was an incredible message) and the rest of the day I enjoyed every moment of my kids and our family time.

But as the day came to a close, I began to feel the familiar tinge of a funk coming on.

And then this morning I woke up feeling like I had taken a million steps back on the anxiety train.

It's times like this that I just want to hide away.

Hide from you and this blog and my friends and my family.

Because who wants to hear that I am ONCE AGAIN struggling?

Same broken record, different day.

But, the Lord gently reminds me that we are ALL broken in some way.

We are all struggling in something.

And if we're not now....we're not far away from one.

So here I am....vulnerable.

Sharing my heart and soul, in the times of happiness and joy and especially in the moments of heartbreak and despair.

I am trying to keep the faith and hope.

Clinging to the promises and friends I know are true.

And counting every single blessing I have been given.

Especially the blessing of my husband....

who is incredibly patient, and loving and so full of mercy and grace.

How I got so incredibly lucky as to have him, I have no idea.

But I can't wait for the day that this struggle is COMPLETELY behind me, so that I can show him just how much he means in my life.

Today is hard.

But I cling to the hope of tomorrow.

And the day after that.

And of course, it's through your love and prayers that He provides me courage and strength.

xoxo

i am blank because....

2012-01-09T00:00:00.000-08:00

I am weird because...
~i like to break out in song and dance out of nowhere
~mostly i like to sing like jewel. {and i swear i sound JUST like her, ask jimmy}
~i don't like to get in the pool or ocean, especially if it means getting my face or hair wet
~i'm obsessed with the duggars
~i would rather thrift shop and fill my closet with used clothes, than spend a lot of money on designer items
~i prefer to be small chested
~i get all my energy and happiness at night. it's then that it makes the most sense to clean, have deep meaningful talks, or organize. even better if it's all of the above.

I am a bad friend because...
~ i take a while to call back, because i don't LOVE to talk on the phone. unless i'm driving.
~when i'm struggling, sometimes i pull away because i fear i'll become too much of a burden.
~i don't offer to babysit their kids much.
~i don't see them nearly as often as i want.

I am a good friend because...
~i get it.
~i text back, and often....even if they never reply, i just KEEP on textin'....
~i care and love them all so deeply with every ounce of my heart and soul, they are my family
~when they hurt, i feel it too. when they are in a place of joy and happiness, it builds up my own.
~i always fight to make it better, stronger and more meaningful
~i ask for forgiveness.
~i always forgive.
~i am always always always there when they need me. always.

I am sad because...
~i'm afraid i'm not going to make an impact during my lifetime
~i miss having parents
~my sisters are too far away
~i feel like i'll never be completely free from anxiety, despite all that i continue to do to fight it
~so many people I care about are hurting and there is nothing that i can do

I am happy because...
~i have an amazing life, friends, church, and family
~i have the best group of girls in my youth group. and when i am with them, i feel it is exactly where i am supposed to be.
~my kids are happy and carefree and they love Jesus
~my husband is incredible and supportive and he also loves Jesus
~i found a dog. and i adore her. she completes....our family.
~we just bought the sodastream, and this means i'm done with diet coke.
~i KNOW that despite what i feel or am going through i am still being carried in God's hands

I am excited for...
~2012, a new year with new possibilities
~my first ever 7 day vacation without my husband or kids, which also means 7 days and/or nights of sleep.
~a new blog project that i'm hoping will be absolutely AMAZEBALLS.

you wanna take a turn now?
all the cool blogs are doing it.

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

breastfeeding, guilt, and education: getting personal

2012-01-06T07:50:00.000-08:00

So, we had some hot topics this week on the SheKnows Mommalogues...where I may or may not have to mention the word nipple.

Also?!?

We have Candace Cameron Bure as our newest Momma member for the month of January!

{come on, you know you got a perm because of her character DJ Tanner on Full House too.}

And because you are busy people, here are a few you may have missed....

What is the hardest thing about being a mom?
Hardest part? Did they mean to ask parts, with an “s” at the end? I don’t mean to be a complainer by any means, and yes, parenting is one the most amazing responsibilities we have ever been given….but. But. It is hard. So, let me just be honest with you guys. And I’ll try to get it to the top 10. Okay, 5. Okay, okay….maybe I can narrow it down to 2. But, one is just impossible. Go ahead, call me Birth Control. But, I can’t help but be honest.

~~~~~~~

Did you breastfeed and how do you feel about breastfeeding in public?

Oh man. My favorite topic. I love to talk about breastfeeding. I mean, you know, just as much as I loved doing it. Which was not at all. And before the Le Leche League comes after me, I should say that I really did give it a fair shot. But, Taylor. Oh, sweet Taylor….he just had this intense latch. (come to think of it, he has an intense everything!) And my breastfeeding parts couldn’t seem to handle it. (neither sometimes, can my brain parts) Actually, it might be better for me to explain this in person. But, be warned, it can get a little graphic.

~~~~~~~

How do you feel about your child's education?

At this point with Taylor being in 1st grade, I have to say I don’t have a lot of complaints. I mean, he’s doing math. So that’s good. Plus, someone else is teaching him, and I quite appreciate that….because I have a feeling if I was the one teaching him, he not only wouldn’t be able to do math, but he wouldn’t want me as his mother either. On the hand, when it comes to Jr. High and High School, that absolutely terrifies me. Like, massively. In fact, hold me now while I talk through it all.

~~~~~~~

We also talked about shoes (i die) and what we're looking forward to in the New Year (no whining, please).

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!!
I so need this weekend.
And um, every weekend actually.
xoxo

im in love...she's stolen my heart and my bed

2012-01-05T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've never been a dog person.

In fact, I've never understood dog people.

I mean, they smell.

{the dogs...not the dog people. although, some of them....maybe.}

They cost money.

They shed.

They poop, and not neatly in a toilet like I prefer.

But once we had kids, who were born TOTAL dog people, I tried so hard to change.

I tried 2 times to change, with 2 different dogs.

And sadly, neither of them quite worked out.

The first was evil.

Like, scary evil.

The second was sweet, but needy.

Like, he reminded me of an ex boyfriend kind of needy.

And when Chloe was born, and he started peeing all over the house (also kind of like an ex boyfriend), we decided we needed to find him a home where he could be the only boyfriend/dog.

At this point, our friends expressed concern over us ever having another dog.

And by concern, I mean, blatant Facebook wall messages saying,

"DO NOT GET ANOTHER DOG OR ELSE."

That may or may not have been because I made those people promise to,

"NEVER LET ME GET ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE THINGS AGAIN!!!!"

{you dog people are cringing that i called them "things" aren't you?}

It's just that kids kind of have a way about them.

And when you see them joyous and happy, you suddenly feel as though you will do absolutely ANYTHING to see that emotion again.

{especially with Taylor, being that he is such a "tortured soul."}

So, when we were visiting my sister in Texas and we saw our children laughing and playing and running and hugging with DOGS, we knew we had to try again.

Only this time, we kept our friends and facebook out of it.

After a quick search on craigslist, we found our prospect.

But I was firm that we were ONLY going to take her for a test run.

A weekend, and then most likely we would give her back and nobody would know we were ever so dumb as to think we could try again.

Except that just moments within seeing her, I was in love.

Like, head over heels, lick my face all you want, love.

Okay, not really lick my face (i've seen where their mouths go), but it was serious.

I mean she had me at, High Five.

Then bang bang (she plays dead), totally sealed the deal.

And while I tried to keep my cool and pretend I wasn't sure, by Day two I was pleading alongside my kids to Jimmy, begging if we could keep her.

He was taken as well, and the deal was done.

I made the call, Stella was staying.

Now?

I totally get dog people.

She loves me. She soothes me. She comforts me. And did I already say, she loves me?

Cause she totally does.

And when she went missing for a few hours the other night?

And Taylor told me with tears in his eyes that he felt like his had lost me or his daddy....

I SOBBED.

I am officially a dog person.

She's the perfect mix of sweet and fiesty (which totally makes her one of the family), and I feel extra protected now that she's here.

I may not have been born this way, but nevertheless....here I am.

A dog person.

Out of the closet.

And now, you may welcome me with open arms.

new years organization

2012-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've been busy the last four days.

In between a TON of eating (it wasn't Monday yet!), I did a TON of organizing, cleaning and sorting.

It started with cleaning up my Twitter following, then to my blog following....and then I went to unload my dishwasher.

That's when things went downhill fast.

For Christmas we got all these new (and MUCH needed) Pyrex bowls and pans and such....and as I was taking them out of the dishwasher, I realized that I needed to create a home for them.

And three hours later, a new kitchen was reborn.

As I took some items from the kitchen to our bedroom office, I was shocked to see that what really needed my attention was the paperwork/bills area {stacks of paperwork = stress!}

....which became a THREE day adventure.

{new system, hoping it'll stick}

{now he can still stack, neatly. chevron bin = mail/bills inbox}

{emptied out a desk drawer of thank you cards so jimmy could have a place for papers to shred. then i turned this cute cubby into a thank you card haven, where i can now tote it around wherever i want to write them!}

At the desk I came across our Home Binder which needed updating, and then as I was doing that I found some art work that needed to be saved.

Which REMINDED ME, that I needed to create boxes to store all the kids school work/memory items.

Which led me to the Dollar Store, Target, and Office Depot just moments later.

{storing memories}

{chloes keepsake box}

{taylors keepsake box}

Then, of course, as I was sorting and cleaning and bringing stuff from our room to the kids, I'd at times get distracted and begin a WHOLE NEW project in a WHOLE NEW room.

I still have to go through bills and paperwork and file....

but then, I am DONE.

{who knows what we need to save and file and what we can toss?}

And at the end of the 4 days, when I took a load of stuff to our storage, suddenly I was immersed in reorganizing all the boxes and bins and piles of crap.

Needless to say, my back now hurts quite a lot.

BUT.

When I close my eyes, I can see and know where EVERYTHING in this house is.

{all 1200 square!}

And that is a good feeling.

Especially because as I lay here with my back out now that it's all completed, I am able to ring my little bell and am better able to instruct Jimmy where it is he needs to go to get me whatever it is I may need.

What about you guys?
What did you do to get ready for the new year?

P.S. in a week or two i am going to begin featuring once a week other people's stories....read here for more info if you'd love to participate!

family fun brings us to tears, well some of us

2012-01-03T00:00:00.000-08:00

Excuse my high pitched voice.

I tend to get a tad high sounding when I'm super "excited."
And especially when I'm having FUN!

Just another day in the life.

i want to feature YOU

2012-01-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

This blog has for a long time been allllll about me.

I mean, well...it is MY blog.

But the reason I am still here, all these years later, is because of YOU.

And I have come to see that each one of you has something unique to share.

You've shared it with me, and I now I want to share it with everyone else.

It can be....

Your style.

Your crafts/DIY's.

Your home design.

Your own personal and inspiring story.

And I want to start featuring YOU hopefully once a week.

I'm not sure what I'll call it yet, but it's been on my heart for awhile, and I'm ready to share my home.

So, got something you want to share?

Email me....we need to talk.

summer at lemusingsofmoi dot com

Let's do this TOGETHER.
{btw, you don't have to have a blog to share. no discrimination here.}

and there it went, finally

2012-01-01T18:45:00.000-08:00

I don't know about you guys, but my heart is leaping a little over knowing 2011 is finally over.

It was a rough year, one filled with lots of growing (struggles) and learning, and a whole lot of realizing that I am strong and yet so weak all at once.

I fought and cried and hurt and laughed and felt the love of Jesus simply through the friends and family He's put in my life.

I felt Him, because of you.

I am ever so thankful for each one of you.

For reading.

For commenting.

For emailing and understanding and sharing your own stories of struggle and triumph.

Through every encouraging word, email, text and hug.....the pieces of my year and heart were put back together.

And here I stand, a little taller.
A little stronger.
And a whole lot more humble.

2011 was the year that taught me.
I pray 2012 will be the year I am able to apply the wisdom.

xoxo

© 2011 "Le Musings of Moi"

the last secret i had, exposed

2011-12-30T09:48:00.000-08:00

What is one thing that people would be surprised to know about you?

This one is hard, because between my blog, social media, and my big mouth, I am pretty much an open book. Most of my readers and friends know all my issues, good and bad. But, I’ve been keeping something secret. Something that only the people really close to me, who have known me for a very long time know. And once I share it, there will be nothing else left for you to know. Here goes nothing. I’m about to become fully exposed.

~~~~~~~

How much time do you spend on the computer?

I know some people think that Facebook and Twitter are a waste of time, and to them I say, “But are you a stay at home mom?!?” Because for me, it has opened up a world of communication and friendship that otherwise would never be possible. I have been reconnected with friends that have become an important part of my life, and I have made friends that are exactly where I’m at in life and just get me even without ever having ever met me. It’s kind of amazing. But there is the other side, where reading about turkey sandwiches and saying Happy Birthday to every person every day can become a bit of a time suck. I think, though, that I’m pretty good about finding that balance I always talk about. Watch and see it in action.

~~~~~~~

And the others from the week of Mommalogues:
Do you have your pre-baby body back?
How clean or messy is your house?

~~~~~~~

I hope you guys all have an amazing weekend, and a SAFE and FUN New Year!!!

best of 2011: fashion, love & parenting

2011-12-29T09:19:00.000-08:00

As a part of Mama Kat's Writers Workshop, I decided to link up and list out my favorite posts of the year.

And woah, did I ever take my time on this one.

Seriously, you guys, these are ones NOT to be missed.

So take a day, a week, an hour....and read each and every one.

You know, with ALL that free time you have.

I promise that if you do, you will feel THAT much closer to me.

And if we're closer, we're all happier in the end.

Okay, so, I'll start with the first paragraph of each post, and then I'll link to the title for you to keep reading.

I like to make things easy for my readers.

{it's all a part of the love i have for you. xoxo}

January:

{i spent the month of January journaling EACH day of Tracy Anderson's 30 Day Method. This here is the final post}

Being that I kinda sorta consider myself one of the 30 Day Method experts, and since I want everyone who begins Tracy Andersons The 30 Day Method to be successful, I've done my best to put together all I know and all I've learned in one place.

Of course if there's anything I've missed or anything else you want to know, feel free to email me and I'll do my best to hook you up with the wisdom you need.

Okay, so we'll start with my tips and advice and then I'll answer the questions that some of you had.

For more of my story on COMPLETING the 30 Day Method read here:

Tracy Anderson 30 Day Method: tips & advice

February:

The other day it came to my attention that there was a website with a specific link dedicated to hatin' on me.

What started as a specific post to make fun of my home and design choices....ended up being a personal attack on not only myself...but my husband and my kids.

Oh no they di'int.

{not giving the link, they don't deserve the traffic...although i should thank them for sending me some.}

For the whole story, read here: Hate on me hater, cause I'm gonna do me

March:

Holy CRAP.

{meaning: trying to find the HOLY in the midst of the CRAP!}

There comes a point when enough is enough.

And all I want to know is what wine you people recommend as it's own food group.

{and remind me, what's the time it's okay to start? 9 am?}

Wow, this honesty things feels good.

Parents of Toddler's, you there with me???

{Or as I call the club, P.O.T.}

For more read: Parenting: it's what drives sane women mad

April:

It's what I wore out...{my version of a fashion post}

May:

Don't make me get all ghetto up in here...

So that's what I wanted to say to Chloe as soon as I realized that potty training wasn't going to be as easy as I hoped it would be.

Somewhere along the way, she picked up some STRONG WILLED ways, of which has NO RELATION to me whatsoever....and it's really not serving us well in the potty training department.

Um, remember this video where I was crowned Miss People of Walmart.com?....

{click the link above to see}

June:

All I can say is that I am ever so thankful for my relationship with the Lord, because these last few months have been full of challenges and struggles.
And in those moments (and there were plenty) that I felt I just couldn't deal anymore....I prayed for His strength to replace mine, and it always did.

For more read: hope for your weary soul

July:

Best Hair Care Products Ever

{and still are to this day, 6 months later!}

August:

I think it's time to address the elephant in the room....or rather, le elephante.

And that would be....

I don't actually speak french.
I know.
Most of you are probably quite surprised what with my FRENCH title and all.

But, no.

I speak not even a little.
Or would that be "poquito?"

For more read: I don't speak french: the title to my blog FINALLY explained

September:

Missoni for Target: The story I'll tell my grandkids

It was a normal, painfully early, morning...getting Taylor off to school plus a photo shoot with Chloe in our front yard before her first day of preschool...you know, the usual stuff around here. When all of a sudden, I received a desperate call from my sister.

"Missoni is selling out already and the website has been down all morning!"

I felt my heart drop into my stomach. But there was just no time for anxiety poo..

October:

We walk a path sometimes that we have created.

We think and we plan and we're sure that we have found the way.

And we skip along for awhile, and it's pleasant for a time and we are happy.

And confident.

In ourselves....

For more read: Are you willing to change your course

November:

Put aside anxious thoughts and imaginations and say continually,

"The Lord is my strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in Him and I am helped. He is not only with me, but in me, and I in Him."

For more read: Be at peace, put aside anxious thoughts

December:

Middle Child Syndrome

I have it.

And it's real.

Let me just tell you.

And THAT is why I only have two kids.

~~~~~~~

Whew. That was ALL KINDS of fun.

It's crazy to go back through a years worth of posts and remember all that you experienced and shared.

I actually think I'll do this each year from now on....as it will be kinda fascinating to see how each years favorites stack up against the previous years.

It's the little things that keep me excited.

That's the life of a stay at home mom.

new years resolutions: chic or geek?

2011-12-27T22:13:00.000-08:00

I adore a new year.

It's borderline obsessive maybe, like I'm ULTRA excited and giddy about it.
In a WHEEEEEEE sort of way.

I know, it's weird.
Or is it?!?

And now that I have my workouts down, (you HAVE to get the metamorphosis, it's amazeballs), and eating healthy isn't nearly as scary as it used to be (i juice kale, all because of a new years goal!)....it's time to pay attention to some areas I've been lacking in.

Bear with me while I "think" out loud.
This will help me in finalizing the list that I'll then write down (and categorize. OCD?!? not at all!), then I'll tuck it away with all the other years that I revisit and reminisce over.

How can you not think this is exciting and want to do it yourself?!?

{just writing this post is making me feel as though i may not sleep tonight, i'm that pumped up.}

Okay, so here goes.....
Wheeeee!!!!!

~ While my anxiety is for the most part gone (thank you JESUS!), now I need to start paying more attention to my thoughts. I need to be taking every thought captive, and make a habit of finding the blessings in EVERYTHING.
{and if Taylor could catch on and have the same attitude, that would be BONUS for everyone}

~ I want to eliminate yelling from my household. I don't want my husband doing it, myself, or the kids. I want to use the sweet soft voice that Michelle Duggar has down to a science.
{okay, maybe not that sweet, but something close.}
{okay, maybe i'll just start with not yelling.}

~ I want to do more with the kids as far as helping other people.
Maybe making it a monthly habit to help the homeless or needy.

~ We definitely need to STICK to a budget if we are ever to do something with this house and the land. That means using cash instead of credit cards so that we can finally save.

~ Maybe learn to cook. Maybe. Or at the very least, crockpot.
{or hire someone?}

~ Family bible time. Weekly, daily, something....just something.
And it needs to be Jimmy leading it.
So, I'll make sure to put that on his list as well.

~ My sister, Heather, has a habit of cleaning the kitchen before going to bed. The dishwasher is full and running, and that way, she wakes up to a clean slate.
I want to do that too.
Seems like a good plan that could potentially add happiness to my life.

~ I'm also thinking that maybe I could cut out at least ONE reality tv show.
One a year seems like a painless way to ease off the addiction.

~ And last but not least, I want to clean up this blog and find my new vision and voice.
I have lost that loving feeling here and there over 2011 (comments would help, just sayin'), but I know I'm not ready to quit.
I just need to find what inspires me, where God wants me to go with this, and put the plan into action.

When I finally narrow the list down and categorize it, I'll be sure to share again.
I'm sure you guys will hardly sleep as well until you know EXACTLY what my goals are for 2012.

~~~~~~~

So, what about you, my loves?
What are your goals and dreams and aspirations for 2012?
Do you think New Years Resolutions are chic or geek?

my natural attempts at treating anxiety...and stuff

2011-12-23T07:39:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've shared some of the latest SheKnows.com Mommalogues. I've been so busy with the holidays, my posting schedule (and motivation) has been slightly off.

But for your viewing enjoyment, here are just a few to catch you up.

What's the worst thing that happened to you in 2011?

{my anxiety story}

Are you ready for the “wa wa wa….Debbie Downer” side of Summer? To be honest, 2011 was a tough year….and I should have known when it started with a week long hospital stay where I lost yet another organ. But, I’d take that any day over what I really struggled with over the year. It wasn’t easy, but I learned a lot….so even though my life was hard, I know that because of it all, there will soon be Beauty from Pain.

~~~~~~~

On the brighter side....

What's your fondest memory of 2011?

Besides getting this amazing opportunity to work with SheKnows.com here on the Mommalogues?!? Well, I mean, that one is hard to beat. But, with the year I had as hard as it was, most definitely taught me one thing. That I have been beyond blessed….and I have much to be thankful for. Here is what made my 2011 the best it could be.

~~~~~~~

How much TV is too much TV?

I love TV. Can I just make that clear?!? And I really don’t see anything wrong with children sitting in front of the tv for hours on end, days and days in a row. (as long as they’re learning something, I consider that homeschooling.) And of course I only mean that during PMS. But for the rest of the month, I have a way that it just all seems to balance out. It may not sound okay to some, but for us, it works. And in the end, I’m happy and that’s really what matters most.

~~~~~~~

How do you teach your kids the holidays are about giving just as much as receiving?

If it were up to my kids, Christmas would be all about them and all about how much they can possibly get in one morning, and then when all is said and done they would be bummed about the one thing they didn’t get. But….to me, that just feels gross. In fact, last year I told Jimmy that this year things needed to be different. So instead of focusing on what we want or what we can give, we are trying to focus on the true reason for this season.

~~~~~~~

What is your favorite holiday cookie?

{i may actually reference the drug, crack, in this webisode. whoops.}

Mmmmm…..cookies. I have a slight addiction to sugar, chocolate, fudge, cookies….and when Christmas is here, oh. My. Word. I want and will eat it all. But there just so happens to be one, just one, that once I get started I just can’t stop. Watch and see it happen in action.

As always, we are on FIVE days a week, each day covering a new and fun and RELATABLE question regarding mom (and some non-mom) stuff.

It's all quite fascinating, and I would suggest checking back and COMMENTING each and every day.

{why you don't comment here or there continues to baffle me...but i'm working it out in therapy.}

I'm sure it has NOTHING to do with you having a life or anything.

Which obviously, I may or may not have, if I'm so upset over something as minor as the lack of comments.

It's just....
Have I mentioned I'm a middle child?

sigh.

ANYWAY.

Happy CHRISTMAS ADAM (learned that from the Duggars)!!!!

{get it? Adam came before Eve? har har}

Love you guys.

xoxo

it's what i wore out: cirque du soleil, iris

2011-12-21T20:59:00.000-08:00

{one of my closest and sweetest friends, Leah}

{we sat THIRD row, front and center!}

{what i wore out: forever 21 basically for every piece but the jacket}

{that's a bow, in case you can't tell.}

~~~~~~~

Recently, Infiniti hooked me and a guest up with tickets to see Cirque du Soleil: Iris in Hollywood and it was ahhhmazing.
Like, beyond words.

First of all, it's held in the incredible Kodak Theatre...
which apparently NOBODY is allowed to take pictures in, like, EVER.
{not before, during, or after the show. when they say, ever, they mean ever.}
Or so I was told the few times I snapped a few pictures.
Whoops.

And then, not only are you sitting in the EXACT spot Brad Pitt once breathed, but you are also mesmerized by the magic that every single Cirque du Soleil holds.
{and did you know, this show was made specifically FOR hollywood, with a cinema theme and all}

We may or may not have been shushed by someone sitting in front of us once or twice....
I guess we don't gasp so quietly.

And not only did we get the hookups, (VIP room with appetizers & drinks PLUS a private Q&A after the show), but they are also offering YOU kind of an amazing opportunity with 25 of your own friends and family.

Here's a little more of the deets:
As part of Infiniti’s sponsorship of Cirque du Soleil, we are hosting a sweepstakes, with the chance to win an exclusive evening with Cirque du Soleil in your hometown for you and 25 guests. Experience a Night of Inspiration including a cocktail reception with heavy hors d’oeuvres, 2-3 private staged Cirque du Soleil performances and a gift for each guest.
To enter, just click here.

And in the meantime, if you're looking for a last minute Christmas gift, may I suggest tickets to see this incredible show?
This may be your only chance to breathe the same air as your favorite Oscar Winner.
You can't pass on that, can you?
Plus, you can check out the Infiniti while you're there.

{click that link to see my dream car. seriously. i. die.}

it's what i wore out: hand me downs

2011-12-19T00:00:00.000-08:00

{jimmy wasn't paying attention, this is my annoyed face.}

....and this is what my photographer was doing the whole time he was shooting the above pictures....

{talking about jiu jitsu}

what i wore: pleated skirt, thrifted; apple bottom jeans leather jacket, platos closet; leopard flats, target; purse, old navy

~~~~~~~

I seriously have to thank my sister Heather, for sharing this amazeballs skirt with me. When I saw it in her closet while visiting over Thanksgiving, I became slightly ob. sessed.

In an annoying way actually.

Every store we went to, (and we went to MANY), I tried to find an exact duplicate.
My stomach almost started to hurt when on the last day, I had not found a floor length pleated skirt.

And then as we were all cozied on the couch the night before we were going to drive back home, out came my sister with an armful of clothes.
The clothes I had swooned for from her closet.

Which included this adorbs BCBG (also thrifted) dress:

Later that night....I cried.

For reals.

It was such a selfless thoughtful gift and it absolutely shows the heart my sister has.
She shares and gives, never asking for a single thing back, just because that is the person she is.
Not only did she share her clothes, but she (and my aunt Candy) took such good care of me while I was recovering from a difficult few weeks.
I kind of love her.
Mass.

I'm tearing up again.

I never wanted hand me downs when I was little....
{sometimes, i wasn't even sure i wanted sisters....}
but now?

My life wouldn't be complete without them.
My sisters, I mean.
{and okay, hand me downs as well....}

{btw, i have THREE sisters. and incredibly they ALL have the same sweet, selfless, giving heart. God has truly blessed me.}

cold hands warm hearts

2011-12-14T08:03:00.000-08:00

More than anything (besides chocolate, pizza, quiet time, and sleep) I LOVE getting packages and gifts in the mail.

So when my sweet bloggy friend, Illy, threw out the idea of Cold Hands Warm Hearts, I was ALL about it.

I had the pleasure of being paired up with Michelle, who I think is the cutest and sweetest thing ever.

{check out her blog to see what I sent her!}

I was giddy when I opened my package to find all these fun little goodies inside:

In addition to the cute scarf and matching gloves, the monogrammed mug and stocking, there was other little goodies like chapstick, flavored coffee, and chocolates....

which were inhaled in a matter of minutes.

I loved being a part of this, and will definitely participate next year.

The spirit of giving is alive, and I love every second of it.

Thank you Michelle!

You totally made my week!

middle child syndrome

2011-12-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

I have it.

And it's real.

Let me just tell you.

And THAT is why I only have two kids.

It's the syndrome that makes you feel "good enough" or "close enough" but never that ENOUGH that you so desire to feel.

It's the syndrome that makes you compare yourself....because most of your life you've always been compared.

To the older ones or the younger one...

and you're almost...

but not quite.

Though in your tender heart, you hear, "Not enough."

It's the syndrome that makes you a fragile flower, or sensitive, because you feel lost in the crowd...

and nobody quite gets you.

It's the syndrome that prompts you to start a blog so that maybe someone will notice you....

and perhaps that someone else just might get you as well.

And it's the syndrome that makes you rethink your blog because nobody is noticing or commenting and then you're back to the whole comparing and "maybe I'm just good enough but not great enough" complex that started the whole thing in the first place.

Thankfully though....while I have that syndrome at times....I also have Jesus.

Jesus who reminds me that I am His.

And HE thinks I'm kind of amazing.

JUST as amazing as any one of his many many amazing children.

And when I draw myself to Him in the midst of my syndrome...

He guides me out and into His arms where I can rest and be soothed and reminded,

once again,

of what is true.

That it's not quantity, it's quality.

It's not fortune or fame or the need to be noticed and admired, it's what I did for Him, in His name.

It's how I used my story, my challenges, my syndromes....

to change hearts and lives.

It's the middle child syndrome that makes me think deeply, love madly, feel intensely.

And I realize it's the way He made me to be.

But not so that I can feel bad, or lost, or just "good enough"...

it's so that I would be motivated, and inspired...

to be more and live more for Him.

What is your syndrome?

Have you ever wondered why God has allowed it and what greater purpose it may serve?

flocked trees and resolutions

2011-12-12T10:22:00.000-08:00

With the tough few months (year?) I've had recently, I needed something to brighten up my days now that the holidays are here

So this year, we decided on a flocked tree, and I couldn't be happier.

It's amazing to me that already we are halfway through the month, and just WEEKS away from a New Year.

And I, for one, am SO ready for 2012.

I'm totally one of those "resolutions" people too.

I get giddy at the thought of hope and change and growing in areas I've been struggling or weak.

And so I make a list for different areas of my life, write out my goals, and keep it close.

And if by the end of the year, I've been able to check off even one, I consider it a success.

What about you guys?

What's making you happy this Christmas season, and are you prepping for the New Year You?

my husband is most like eminem...and other stuff

2011-12-09T07:53:00.000-08:00

For your Friday viewing pleasure....

And I promise I'll be back to normal blogging next week. I'm sure ya'll have just been crazy without me.

shhhh shhhh, there there, I know....

Watch me in the meantime on the SheKnows Mommalogues.

My husband is like which celeb dad?

Jimmy is a complicated man. Haven’t you noticed? He’s most definitely his own unique person, so it took me forever to decide on a celeb dad that he reminded me of. In fact, because there are so many depths to who he is, I couldn’t just pick one. Let’s start with Eminen, and then we’ll add on from there.

~~~~~~~

If you could travel anywhere with or without kids, where would you go?

With or without kids? Is that even something a mom needs to consider??? Okay, so obviously, I choose without kids. {as much as I’m sure traveling with them would be awesome} Now as to where I would pick, I’m quite low maintenance. I don’t ask for much. But there are just a few things I need to have, and here’s my list.

~~~~~~~

How simple or elaborate are your holiday get-togethers?

How simple or elaborate our holidays are all depends on who is throwing and hosting the event. I mean, it’s not that I’m lazy or anything, it’s more that I believe in keeping things simple and to the point. Or maybe I am lazy. Either way, if you want me to host, here’s what you’re going to get.

~~~~~~~

And others you missed:

How did you tell your husband you were pregnant?
What's your favorite spot in your home?

Now it's your turn!

Share with me your own thoughts and answers on these topics!!

it's what i wore out: symphony blues

2011-12-05T21:09:00.000-08:00

what i wore out: vintage blue dress: texas thrift store, wedge boots: thrifed, black tights: costco

~~~~~~~

Last weekend Jimmy took me on a date to the symphony.
This is his DREAM date...and it's taken 8 years of marriage to get me there with him.
But he has been so amazing and patient with me over this last year of trials, so I felt it was the least I could do for him.
Besides, I figured I had my new iPhone and if anything, there was always Words with Friends or a snooze if I got bored.

Except....

I discovered when we got there that my man had splurged for FRONT ROW DEAD CENTER seats.

I could see the lead violin players nose hairs.
This detail brought tears of joy to my husbands eyes, yet had me worried that perhaps napping or playing on my phone would be considered rude by those PERFORMING the symphony.

And then there were the two women on either side of us fully dressed up to the nines, one in a fancy cocktail dress and the other in a long red gown, which led me to believe this was not a crowd who would appreciate the slight glow of my iphone.
Or the soft purr of my sleep.
And so...
While my husband had goosebumps all over his body, tears in his eyes, and giant grin on his face....

I allowed myself to become engrossed in the imaginary lives of each and every one of the members of the symphony that I could see before me.

So totally fun.

By the way.
Did you know that a symphony can last hours?
Like, over 2 hours?!?
And everyone sits and smiles and adores and tears up THE ENTIRE TIME.

It's amazing.
Absolutely an experience.

And I can totally relate....because when I am shopping and finding amazing deals....
two hours goes by just like that.
And I get tears in my eyes, goosebumps all over my body, and a giant grin is plastered all over my face.
And never.
Ever.
Would I break that spell with a game of Words with Friends.

So you see.
I can appreciate the arts.

When I compare it to shopping.

my birthday gift from God

2011-12-01T00:00:00.000-08:00

It's my birthday.

I'm officially in my mid early thirties.

{33, what what!}

{i say "what what" instead of "woot woot" btw.}

And for my birthday, God told me that he prefers me as a natural blonde.

How, you ask, did He tell me?

Well, um....with a PLETHORA of white hairs that suddenly sprouted just LAST WEEK.

So, for my birthday I have scheduled myself a therapy appointment....

followed by a hair appointment that will take me from ombre back to blonde.

What God wants, God gets.

Happy Birthday to me!

five things

2011-11-30T21:01:00.000-08:00

It's time you get to know a little more about me.

I am such a mystery, and there are so many depths to me, so this will barely scratch the surface.

But we must start somewhere.

~~~~~~~

5 things you don't know about me:

~ I love granny panties. I am one sexy mama, let me tell you.

~ If I change my mind about buying something in a store, I will just drop it off in a random spot.

This irritates the "sh" out of Jimmy.

~ I prefer to poop and pee with the door open.

~ Speaking of poop, I have at times taken pictures of some impressive ones.

~ I have never seen a single episode of Star Wars.

5 things I'm knowledgeable about:

~ How to find an amazeballs deal in a thrift store.

~ Anxiety. Sigh.

~ Microwaving dinners and ordering pizza.

~ Reading people, I find I can get a good sense about someone very quickly.

~ Tracy Anderson. duh.

5 things I know nothing about:

~ Physics...or most things Jimmy tries to talk to me about.

~ Blog stats. I should know about this stuff, but I still have no idea what any of it means or how to find out what mine are.

~ Directions or how to get anywhere, even if I've been there a million times before.

This also irritates the "sh" out of Jimmy.

~ Raising kids. Every day I wonder what the heck I'm doing and if I'm doing it right.

~ Sports. Yawn.

5 things I believe:

~ Obviously, the first is Jesus. He's kind of amazing.

~ That our thoughts become actions, and we must constantly guard them and keep them in check.

~ That laughter is healing. We must laugh every day.

~ That a true friend is the greatest gift and hug from God.

~ Growth only comes from struggle, and there will always be beauty from pain.

And yes....

I am well aware that sometimes I over share.

Welcome to me.

my favorite thing to wear in my closet...and stuff

2011-11-29T00:00:00.000-08:00

While I'm still adjusting getting back on Cali time and all that, I thought this would be a perfect chance to share some of what you may have been missing out on with the SheKnows.com Mommalogues!

{check back on their website daily for new videos and topics!}

~~~~~~~

How has having kids impacted your career?

Ever since I was a little girl, all I ever wanted to do (besides move out of Washington State) was to get married and be a mom. Being a mom was going to be my career and I was going to love each and every minute of it. So having kids became my career. Until it became my career. And now? Everything’s changed.

~~~~~~~

How hard is it to get the kids up for school in the morning?

I think the question should be more how hard is it to get my husband and I up in the morning. My kids are still young and naïve enough to believe that life is so exciting and wonderful that they must wake before the sun to get the most of every minute of their day. Jimmy and I on the other hand, we know better. I’m just hoping that by the time their hormones kick in, they’ll get how it’s really supposed to be.

~~~~~~~

What's your favorite thing to wear out of your closet?

This one is hard, because I love so much of my closet. I’m super into long maxi dresses right now, because they are all kinds of amazing. And then I love any and all tunics with jeans layered with yummy sweaters. But, honestly? The one thing I love the most and wear the most is not nearly so glamorous or fashionable. But, they are magical and I will wear them until they literally fall apart.

~~~~~~~

Which would you pick for a 1 week vacation with the kids? Beach, Mountains or City?

With kids?!? People take vacations with kids?!? Who are these people? Okay, okay….I’ll play along. Well, because I spent most of my life being cold growing up in Washington State, I now try to make up for it in my adult life by doing my best to stay near the warmth. But usually where there is sun, there is sand. And Jimmy is the only one of us four that doesn’t mind that nasty messy stuff. But, I guess sometimes we just have to make sacrifices to be happy, and if that means touching sand, then so be it.

~~~~~~~

Now what about you guys?

Share your stories and responses, I'd love to hear!

xoxo

i believe in family and medication

2011-11-28T08:38:00.000-08:00

Long before the anxiety kicked in, I thought it would be a GREAT idea to rent a minivan and load up the kids and drive to San Antonio for Thanksgiving to see my sister and her family. And then when my aunt decided to meet us all there as well, it just made it THAT much more exciting.

And then the anxiety happened.

And for awhile there, it was touch and go.

I really wasn't sure I'd be able to make the trip.

But, my family is amazing and loving and supportive, and I knew if there was any place I could go and be accepted right where I was, it was with them.

So we decided to go regardless.

And then we started driving.

{dramatic pause.}

And it was then that I became an OFFICIAL believer of medicine, because had it not been for certain prescriptions I'm not sure certain ones of us would have survived.

But we made it there.

And we survived.

We bonded, and loved, and shopped, and ate, and talked, and cried, and hugged and it was perfect even when I wasn't.

And though I wish I could have been 100% back to me while I was there...

I'm almost glad I wasn't.

Because it made me realize that I don't have to be perfect to be loved.

My sisters & my aunt(s)....they are the only family I have....and this was the trip that really made me realize that even though I may not have parents, I still have family.

Family that loves, and cares, and allows any one of us to be exactly who we are at any moment in time.

I have so much to be thankful for.

And it was that thought, that kept us all alive on the 2 day, 22 hour drive back home.

That....

and medication.

What did you learn over the Thanksgiving Break/Holiday?

it's what i wore out: when in texas....

2011-11-23T07:35:00.000-08:00

I'm in Texas visiting family for the week.

So posting is just not on the list of priorities.

But, shopping is.

They always say, when in Texas....

I know....you want more....

And believe it or not, I have more you lucky ducks!!!

But you'll just have to wait for those next week.

Now you have something to look forward to!

Hope you guys all have an amazing Thanksgiving full of blessings.

it's what i wore out: sweet n sassy

2011-11-18T07:17:00.000-08:00

what i'm wearing: lulus.com maxi dress, ring: plato's closet, apple bottom jeans leather jacket: plato's closet, gold beaded necklace: thrifted, jeffery campbell shoes: plato's closet, nail polish: sally hansen slick slate

~~~~~~~

I am SO into these dresses, can you tell?
And that jacket...
I seem to see how many ways in a week I can wear it....I just love it that much.

What are you obsessed with now that it's fall?
Or what seems to be your go to look now that it's cooling down?

By the way.
It's the weekend...
And I'm starting to feel better!!!!

it's what i wore out: black on black

2011-11-16T00:00:00.000-08:00

{could not edit out that dang red eye for the life of picnik. grrr}

what i'm wearing: vintage dress: thrift store, f21 leggings & boots, apple bottoms leather jacket: thrift store, world market necklace, socks: tj maxx

*******

Last weekend the kids went and spent a night with their Nana & Papa, and I had a full 24 hours to rest and unwind with my man.
With all that I've been dealing with these last few weeks, it was a much needed break.
Then when Jimmy mentioned a trip to TJ Maxx and Target, I immediately perked up and decided it was time to put some makeup on and get dressed.
And wouldn't you know, once I was shopping, I started feeling SO much better.
Weird.
{plus, i found an amazing black cape for HALF off at TJ Maxx, i just about died. and they have more. go now. thank me with gifts later.}

Slowly but surely, I'm getting better.
It's a process, and some days are tougher than others....
but it's good to know that prayer combined with friends, family, and shopping are all I need to start feeling a smidgen better.

And to you guys, my incredible friends and readers, thank you for your support and prayers.
With each comment, each tweet or text, I am encouraged and uplifted.
You ARE so totally helping....and I am truly blessed.

God IS my strength and my shield, and He is building me up for something...
I just gotta finish being refined.

be at peace, put aside anxious thoughts

2011-11-14T21:37:00.000-08:00

Last week in the midst of my tough moments, I saw this prayer (see below for the prayer) on my friend Misty's instagram, and it gave me chills.

Good chills.

Hope chills may be more like it.

I immediately googled the words to find the entire passage and then wrote it on a slip of paper and put it in my purse. I can't tell you how many times I have read that paper.

I then wrote a portion of it on the mirror in my bathroom where I get ready every day....it was something I needed to read and be reminded of.

Often.

Today when I got out of the shower I couldn't help but notice it again, only this time it took on a whole new meaning.

The mirror was foggy and "crying" just as I have been over these last few weeks.

But there the words remained, true as ever, even through the fog and tears.

We may not feel Him when we hurt.

We may not believe the truth behind the words, but we must say them anyway...simply out of trust and faith.

Though we may be foggy and hurt and sad and confused, still His truth remains.

He is and always will be our strength and our shield.

And when the fog clears, and the tears are dry and gone....

The words will remain and our faith will be deeper.

We will be stronger.

We will have survived.

~~~~~~~

Prayer for Unfailing Strength

Do not look forward to what may happen tomorrow, the same everlasting Father who cares for you today will take care of you tomorrow and every day.

Either He will shield you from suffering, or He will give you unfailing strength to bear it.

Be at peace then.

Put aside anxious thoughts and imaginations and say continually,

"The Lord is my strength and my shield. My heart has trusted in Him and I am helped. He is not only with me, but in me, and I in Him."

{scripture to back that up}

Matthew 6:25-34

Psalm 28:7

my must have beauty products and more!

2011-11-13T17:05:00.000-08:00

Just a few videos from last week on the SheKnows.com Mommalogues!

What are your must have beauty products?

The great thing about beauty products is that they do exactly what they say. Make you beautiful. And? They don’t whine. Or talk back. Or refuse to go to the bathroom at school causing parent/teach conferences twice a week. So, needless to say, I adore beauty products. And because I am constantly trying out new stuff, I have found a few amazing products that have been tried and tested and have most definitely made the must have list. Check out the ones I die for. Then go buy them. For me.

How healthy is your Thanksgiving meal?

There are two things about Thanksgiving that make it nearly impossible for me to be too opinionated here. The first is, beggars can’t be choosers and since I don’t cook, I can’t really say what my preparer should do. The second is, I don’t like Thanksgiving food. I am a very picky eater (peanut butter & jelly, plain cheeseburgers, and cheese pizza please), so healthy or not….I’m not too thrilled about the options Thanksgiving brings. But, because I do attend Thanksgiving and someone is usually cooking it for me, here’s how I try to make it work.

What's been the greatest age or stage so far?

Isn’t it all amazing? How can you even ask me to narrow it down to just one?!? Okay, but really…with my kids, it’s not about an age or stage….but more about what is less annoying of the most annoying. Or the less crazy making of all the crazy making. Those are the kind of moments that I hold on to and cherish. But through it all, I love them regardless. No really, I do. What?!?

And the others you may have missed...

How tech savvy are your kids?

How often do your kids see their grandparents?

Remember, every day (during the week) we have new topics, and don't be afraid to join the discussion by leaving comments on the site!!!

Hope you guys had a great weekend...

{i am definitely on the mend....and will be back much sooner than expected! thanks for the love and prayers. they are absolutely working.}

i'm just not me right now

2011-11-11T11:49:00.000-08:00

I know in trying to grow my blog and it's readership, taking a break is not the way to go.

But sometimes, life happens, and a break is exactly what must happen along with it.

I am struggling with some stuff, and trying to get it all sorted out. And hopefully, in just a couple weeks (who knows, maybe it'll just be a few days?!?) I'll be feeling back to me, back to being able to write and share and learn about it all.

But, for right now....I need to clear my schedule and breathe. And lean on the Lord, and wait for him to speak into this situation.

its what i wore out: serving at the food bank

2011-11-09T20:04:00.000-08:00

{gray jacket & sweats: thrifted, pink cardi: target, shoes: reebok easytones}

Sometimes, it's not about glamour or fashion, it's about comfort and warmth.

~~~~~~~

The other night a bunch of us leaders took the girls in our individual core groups to serve at the food bank.

My particular group of girls are in the 9th & 10th grade, and even at that young age they were willing to give up a night of studying to come and stuff boxes with food for people they would never meet.

And what really amazed me, was their crazy work ethic, open hearts, and amazing attitudes about it all.

They were laughing, sharing, having fun, and making memories all the while they worked like rock stars.

{we finished a 3 hour job in 2 hours. that's kind of how amazing they were. just sayin.}

I've always had a heart to work with the youth.

My years in high school were some of the most confusing and scary times of my life.

{until after I had kids....but that's a whole 'nother therapy session right there.}

And after losing my virginity by rape at a party in 9th grade, my whole life turned around.

And not so much for the good.

I felt God had left me.

Or maybe I was too angry with Him to feel His presence.

Either way, I decided my way was better....and that led to so much heartache and drama.

I always wished I could have had someone in my life to encourage me.

To support me.

To accept me.

To give truth to the lies I had convinced myself of believing.

And so, here I am.

Working with the youth.

Hoping that God will use me.

I pray every day that the time I get to spend with my girls changes them.

I pray that I can love them the way they deserve to be loved.

That I can listen to them, without judgement, the way they deserve to be heard.

I pray that I can be all the things to them that I so needed in my teen years when I was lost and hurting.

And in the meantime, I pray we have many more nights crammed in my car singing the Glee Soundtrack at the top of our lungs.

Because I think that right there, are the true moments of freedom.

Laughter and singing.

Glee.

When I am with them....no matter what we are doing....it's like I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

{and this is just half of my girls. my beautiful amazing and loving girls.}

an ad for prozac a.ka. birth control

2011-11-07T22:30:00.000-08:00

I've been known to video tape my kids when they throw a tantrum.

Mostly because when things are calm again and they see the video, they realize just how silly it all was.

Until the next tantrum, when they seemingly have forgotten.

And every time I video tape them, I think.....now this could be birth control for anyone not quite ready to have kids.

Or... it could be an ad for Prozac.

{"do you feel like this every day? then maybe you need prozac!"}

Either way....this was my day yesterday.

I wonder where she learned it from....

Ahhhh, the glamorous life of a stay at home mom.

my tattoos, tracy anderson love, and other stuff

2011-11-06T15:53:00.000-08:00

Once again, here are just a few of my faves from last week on the Mommalogues.

Do you have tattoo's or piercings and will you let your kids get them?

Being that both Jimmy and I have tattoos (and I have my nose pierced), we certainly have no room to tell our kids that they aren’t allowed. I mean, we absolutely can while they live under our roof, but once they leave the nest….they’re on their own. They do know, because we’ve had those conversations already, that I have strict guidelines on the whole issue. Here’s the top 3 rules I believe they, and myself, need to take into consideration before making anything permanent.

What's your fitness routine?

If you know me at all, read my blog, or have even heard me breathe….you know all about my fitness routine. I have, mmmm, maybe what you’d call a slight obsession. I don’t necessarily love to workout, but my mood absolutely needs that lift several times a week. Luckily, I found the sweetest and most amazing trainer in the whole world that definitely keeps me on the ball and never bored. Now if only I could find someone to come and cook all my meals, I would totally be able to look like her too.

Do you expect your kids to go to college?

The other night we found Taylor in his bed crying. When we asked what was wrong, he sobbed, “I really want to study to be an engineer in college, but basketball is getting in the way!” Um?!? Really?!? He’s 6. (and he doesn’t play basketball…yet) So, I would guess with that scenario he most definitely has plans to go to college. Here’s how Jimmy and I view the whole issue on college.

shutterfly winners!

2011-11-06T15:36:00.000-08:00

Here are the the THREE winners for the Shutterfly 25 free photo holiday cards:

The Smith Family

Janelle ~ Rellas Bellas

Gigis Ramblings

Make sure to email me ASAP and I'll get you all your codes!

Thanks for entering!!!

the holy grail natural deodorant that works

2011-11-03T19:41:00.000-07:00

Seriously, this product is AMAZEBALLS. You have to try it out.

Oyin Funk Butter

Music in video: Helen Austin

my letter to my kids about anxiety....

2011-11-02T10:36:00.000-07:00

My sweet Taylor and Chloe....

Before I explain things to you, know that I love you. Beyond words. I love you that much. And it is because I love you both that I need you to know that I am not perfect. And sometimes my imperfections may hurt you. Sometimes you'll think that what I struggle with has something to do with you, and you'll wish things were different. And trust me. So do I.

So do I.

Every single one of us in this world has a struggle. We all have something that we have to continually work and fight against. And mine? Happens to be longer than I'd like moments of anxiety and sadness. It comes without warning, and goes just the same. And it's not because I don't love God enough, because I do. I love him and have given him my whole heart and soul. It's just my struggle. For now. My cross to bear.

But what I need you to know is that I am a fighter. I may cry and I may freeze up from time to time, but I do not and I will not lay down and let this take me over. I have the power of God that lives in me, and daily I take up my cross and I call upon Him to show up when I am feeling so weak. I know that in these hard times of my life, God speaks the loudest. His hugs show up daily in many different ways. And I cling to that each and every moment.

That is what I hope you take from this time of our life. Though we will have our struggles, there is a healthy way to deal with it. I can't be perfect for you. But I hope I can at least teach you that.

Know this. Sadness, depression, anxiety or the like....is not wrong. It is not wrong nor is it our fault that we feel these things. But we need to remember that it cannot HAVE US. And it is mostly because of you two and daddy, that I have found it in me to fight. I will do whatever it is I have to do to be the best mom and wife I can be. I will fight this battle with all that God has given me so that I am able to come out of it the strong person he intended me to be and live the life He would be proud of.

But, right now....I am still struggling. Still fighting. And still, perhaps, not entirely the best mom and wife I dreamed I would be. I get sad. I get anxiety. I feel broken and scared. I am so incredibly human.

My struggles? Are mine. And for whatever reason, God is allowing it in my life at this time. He has a reason. There IS a purpose. We don't see it. I know I don't, but I trust in Him.
And you have to know and BELIEVE that they have NOTHING to do with you....or my love for you. When I need to go in my room to find a peaceful moment, it's not because I don't love you.

When I tend to be short tempered, it's not because you are or have done anything wrong.

When I have tears in my eyes, it's because I am hurting. But not because of anything you did or anything you are.

This is just me....living and learning, and taking each moment as it comes. Accepting the challenge God's placed before me and proving myself faithful.

I love you forever. Regardless. You are my everything. My reason to fight. My reason to be open and honest.

My greatest fear is that you'll think I'm weak.

Or that I wasn't present enough or that there was something wrong with your mom.

Instead I hope that you'll know it was me fighting a fight.

That your mom is tough. And honest. And real.

And that I believe in the power of God.

His power is within me.

And he PROMISES to bring Beauty from Pain.

I hope one day when you're older and you can read this letter, you will understand me better and understand this time of our life.

I love you.

Beyond.

Matthew 11:28

New International Version (NIV)

²⁸ “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

channeling rachel zoe...and joe dirt

2011-11-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

About ten minutes before walking out the door to take the kids to a Halloween/Trick or Treating Party....I got an idea as I was applying my red lipstick.

I should TOTALLY dress up like Rachel Zoe. You know if, um, Rachel Zoe was to gain about 20-30 pounds.

And got bangs.

Here's what I came up with...and because I couldn't decide between the vintage fur and the cropped leather jacket, I took a picture with both.

But, I ended up sticking with the fur.

I mean.

Fur is so may.jah.

Especially vintage.

And yes, I did stay in character MOST of the night.

So beyond.

Just sayin'.

{vintage wide leg jeans, sequins, cropped leather jacket, vintage rabbit fur, marc jacobs (ish) bag, black wedges, vintage jewelry}

Jimmy told me that I actually didn't look any different than I normally do.
Um, thanks?
I gotta hand it to Rachel, wearing all that jewelry?
Totally burns calories. I can see now why she's so thin.

And then as I was digging in my closet, I found a mullet and wa la....Joe Dirt was created.

As you can see, my little bumblebee and batman were all smiles:

That improved when we were about to go trick or treating.

Hope you guys all had a fun and SAFE Halloween.

pssss....
Go enter my Shutterfly Photo Holiday Gift Card Giveaway, there will be THREE winners, and at this point....you have a good chance of winning.

masks

2011-10-31T09:05:00.000-07:00

We all wear a mask.

Sometimes we wear more than one.

And sometimes we we wear so many, we don't even know who we are without one.

We talked about this recently with our youth group, and even more recently our pastor spoke on it in church.

Why are we so afraid to share who we really are?

Why are we so reluctant to ACCEPT those who are sharing their true authentic selves?

Does it make us uncomfortable in our skin, because maybe we see too much of ourselves in their weaknesses?

I am guilty of wearing masks.

And while I'd like to think that I wear them because it's who I so desire to be, what I should be more focused on is not pretending but BECOMING that person.

The truth?

I am not always confident.

Sometimes and often I am insecure and I care far too much what others think about me.

I am not always happy and outgoing.

I struggle, daily sometimes, with anxiety and fear.

I am not always strong in my faith and in my relationship with God.

There are days I have questions and feel so far from His presence.

This is me.

This is where I am at this moment in my life.

And I know, despite appearances and masks, God still sees what is there...

yet He LOVES and ACCEPTS me right where I am.

As we walk around today, seeing the costumes and masks that consume Halloween, I pray we all can take a minute and think about the masks we ourselves are wearing.

And more importantly, know that even without those masks....

as imperfect and weak as we think we are...

We are still worthy of love and acceptance.

Wearing a mask may be the "in" thing to do.
But are you willing to go against the crowd?

*~~~~~~~*

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David.

A psalm.

¹ You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.

² You know when I sit and when I rise;

you perceive my thoughts from afar.

³ You discern my going out and my lying down;

you are familiar with all my ways.

⁴ Before a word is on my tongue

you, LORD, know it completely.

⁵ You hem me in behind and before,

and you lay your hand upon me.

⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

too lofty for me to attain.

⁷ Where can I go from your Spirit?

Where can I flee from your presence?

⁸ If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

⁹ If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

if I settle on the far side of the sea,

¹⁰ even there your hand will guide me,

your right hand will hold me fast.

¹¹ If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

and the light become night around me,”

¹² even the darkness will not be dark to you;

the night will shine like the day,

for darkness is as light to you.

¹³ For you created my inmost being;

you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

¹⁴ I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

your works are wonderful,

I know that full well.

¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you

when I was made in the secret place,

when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.

¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed body;

all the days ordained for me were written in your book

before one of them came to be.

what you missed on the mommalogues

2011-10-30T07:47:00.000-07:00

First things first...did you see the new Mommalogues widget over there to the right? -----> Kinda fun, ya?

And now for what you may have missed this week on the Mommalogues:

How does football season affect your family?

Do you brag about your kids and what do you think of moms that do?

What's your mommy wardrobe and which celeb style do you wish you had?

Others from the week:

How often do you let your kids have dessert?

How clean is the inside of your car?

Make sure to check out what the other mommas have to say, it's always fun to hear how different our views can be! (plus they are adorable!)

Enjoy your Sunday guys!

xoxo

shutterfly holiday cards giveaway

2011-10-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, yes...I know it's barely Halloween, but didn't you know that NOW is the time to start prepping for Christmas?!?

I know, I know....let's celebrate ONE HOLIDAY at a time....but there are some think you have to think ahead about, like Christmas cards!

And luckily I can help you out with that!

Because Shutterfly is offering THREE of my readers a $25 credit towards your order.

{did you know that they also have photo greeting cards and birth announcements as well? you see? shutterfly kind of rocks! they have cards to celebrate the baby Jesus AND your new bundle of joy! the options!!!}

You will DIE when you see all the chic cards they have for the holidays, as I am already having way too hard of a time narrowing down my choices. I may, in fact, need to order a few different styles for each of my changing moods.

Here are just a few of my favorites among the many:

And when I say, "among the many," I mean there are over 900 options so you most definitely need not to worry about there being someone having the exact same card as you.

And I'm not promising that will absolutely NOT happen, but I am saying...the chances are slim.

So.

You get busy clicking on links, picking out your faves and then come back here and leave me a comment letting me know which ones you are loving the best.

I'll be picking a winner next Saturday!
{this giveaway is open only to those who follow my blog through google friend connect}

Want more ways to win?

~ tweet all about it

~ facebook it to your friends

~ blog about it on your cute blog

~ buy me something cute

{pretty sure you would win if you did that last one...just sayin'}

Oh, and leave a separate comment for each thing ya do, would ya?

Happy Holidays!

hair do i did: simple fancy

2011-10-28T00:00:00.000-07:00

{super easy to do. simply put on a headband but not under your hair, then twist hair over & under the headband}

Jimmy came home from work quite happy about this particular 'do. He LOVES when I wear my hair back, and so he was quite impressed with the newfound way to funk it up. It's so adorable how just these little things, like doing my hair in a way he likes, makes him smile.

....and now a word NOT about hair:

I gotta say, this week was an introspective one. You notice?

I've been in analyzing mode quite a bit, and sometimes I wish I could just....relax.

*******

I'm in MAY-jah questioning mode about my blog...like, what are my intentions and where should my focus be? I find myself wondering where it should go from here, and after all this time, if there is still a place among all the many for what I think I have to share....

*******

I'm questioning the job I'm doing as a mom. Am I loving enough, giving enough attention, being in the moment enough, teaching and showing the heart of Jesus enough?

*******

I question myself. A lot. Is this decision right? Would that decision be better? Am I growing and learning and is it all enough? I put so much pressure on myself...I hate to disappoint.

*******

And then there are all the other inner thoughts of my heart...such as....

Working with the youth girls at my church, brings me back to a place where everything changed in my life.

{it's a story i have yet to share, but I will. soon.}

And it's good now, but I look at them...at the age I was...and I just want it to be different for them NOW.

And so I make a promise to God to love them, and be there for them, and hope that somehow I can provide a place of acceptance...of unconditional love....of understanding....that may never otherwise be there in the things they are dealing with.

Ya, and you thought you were getting a hair post.

ha!

Sometimes that's me though.

In one moment I'm excited about hair, and the next, I'm pondering the deep meaning and issues of life.

There's a chick for ya.

And you?

Any good hair tips you want to share?

Deep thoughts you've been having?

Let's be chicks together.

Don't leave me hanging.

It could be very awkward otherwise.

don't forget to link up to blog link up party!

doing for one can change the world

2011-10-27T00:00:00.000-07:00

Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone, Andy Stanley

We can't change the world, at least not in the ONE big swoop we all dream of, and so we tend to get dispondant. We think we can't make a change big enough, so why even try.

But what if we adopted the above attitude each and every day.

What if we decided we would do for just ONE what we so wish we could do for EVERYONE.
{not to be confused with ONLY one....yet one at a time.}

Our pastor shared on this a few weeks ago and it has really settled into my heart, mind and soul.

By doing for just one, you change not only the lives they will one day reach, but you change yourself at the same time.

By doing for one, we are doing more than we could have ever imagined.

Here are some thoughts to keep in

mind as you look for your one.

• Go deep rather than go wide • Go long term rather than short term • Go time not just money

Who is your one today?

What will you do?

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10 Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9,10

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

it's what i wore out

2011-10-26T00:00:00.000-07:00

what i'm wearing:
jeans: jolt
dress/tunic: mark.com
wedges: jessica simpson
occasion: church
{went to church still not feeling well and then had a church lunch after...so by the time i got home i was so done with being dressed. basically we snapped these pictures in a hurry and then i quickly replaced clothes with jammies and crawled into bed.}

I love and adore that it's starting to cool off.
And by cool off in southern california terms, I mean we're down from the 80's to the 70's.
I know, don't ya feel so bad for me?
But the cooler it gets, the more layers I intend to put on.
Oh my word, layering, I die.

Along with the change of weather, I've also been feeling the need to purge my closet and consign some things and start afresh.
And this is why I can't spend a lot on clothes, because I tire of things so quickly.
Yes, some items are timeless....but most?
Are consignable.
And that is exactly what you'll find me doing in the next coming weeks.

What about you guys, what are you loving as the weather changes?